I Saw This Going Better in My Head...

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"Rogers, I'm no expert, but I'm almost positive pomegranate dish soap doesn't wash out rabies." 

Toby smirked and slathered an extra layer of suds over the long the column of his neck, "Good th-thi-good thing you're not an expert then."  The entire front of his t-shirt was soaked and clung to his chest. His jacket was flung over one of the dining room chairs with his gloves stuffed in the pockets. Toby squeezed a fourth glop of soap and smeared it over the length of his arm, paying particularly close attention to the ugly gashes and bites. He bitterly pulled away tiny bits of broken skin with dirty fingernails until fresh blood poured from the opening and turned the mountain of bubbles a fluffy pink color. "What do you kn-know anyway?" 

"I know dish soap doesn't wash out rabies." Masky snorted over the rim of his kitty cat mug. It was filled with mango juice, which was definitely more whiskey than actual juice at this point. He watched in a bored in haze as Toby stubbornly further ripped the outer layer of his skin. The alcohol warmed his blood. "You should probably stop doin' that."  

A shrug this time, amber eyes were focused on the worsening injuries. "Don't hurt." Toby muttered under his breath. But like a betrayal, his hand spazzed away from the abused and swollen flesh. He left it alone though and went back to scrubbing. "I don't wanna g-g-get the sh-shot." His gaze flashed over to Masky, "Just gives him a reason to s-stab me with something." Toby cupped his hands together under the faucet and splashed water all over himself (cold water if Masky were to bet). 

"More of a reason, you mean." Masky tilted his head almost thoughtfully, "I kinda think he'd stab you whether you gave him a reason to or not. E.J's funny that way." He flicked away a pine needle stuck to his pullover . "I would." 

The kitchen door swung open with a slight creak in it's hinges, cutting off Toby's words and distracting him from drowning Masky in the sink. (Y/N) all but danced on her toes, narrowly avoiding the black marble-top island and counters. Her (Y/C/E)'s were glazed over and she was wearing the kind of smile Masky recognized almost immediately. There was a sigh on her strawberry glossed lips as she twirled around the both of them.

"Hey (Y/N) perfect t-t-t-timing, if you had to st-st-st-if you had a chance to stab me for no reason, w-wo-would you?" Toby dipped a hand back under the running water and reached for more soap with the other. 

Masky clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes, "What kind of question is that? You can't ask someone who actually likes you, because of course she wouldn't." He took another sip of his juice. 

Toby suddenly abandoned his spot at the sink and quickly snatched (Y/N) by the shoulders before she could slip and break her neck due to stepping in one of the many puddles he made on the floor. "Helloooooo, Earth t-to (Y/N)!!!" He waved a bubbly hand in her face, but his eyes bore into hers. His smile faded as he tried to get a clear look at her pupils. "You okay?" 

"Hmm?" (Y/N) fluttered her eyelashes and spun out of his hold, heading straight for the fridge, "That's nice, Uncle Toby." She could've been giggling or it might've been the dizzy-cloud 9 feeling she was still riding. She swiped a perfectly red apple from the shelf and made for the exit. 

Masky couldn't really blame Toby for being a little freaked out. If he didn't know any better, he'd be checking (Y/N) for drugs too. Nobody's ever that happy for no reason. "So I take it the date went well?" He called after her and damn near snorted when she immediately began choking on her apple. In two seconds she was going to say the classic line that would instantly give her away. Right as soon as Toby stopped swatting her back. 

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1....

"It wasn't a date." (Y/N) hacked, wiping the corner of her mouth. 

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