lies

6

Taytum Moore

It's been a month and 2 weeks since the date. For about a week Harry would randomly show up at my job and we went out a couple times too. We went to get coffee, breakfast, lunch, and he also helped me finish most of my apartment. But after a good week of seeing each other almost everyday, I stopped getting random visits at work and he stopped texting. I tried calling a couple times the first two weeks and texting but I was left with nothing. Nothing.

Every time I think about him I have this flutter in my stomach. Whenever I get texts I would jump to my phone to check who it is and every time I'd see it isn't him my heart would sink. At the flower shop every time the door swung open my heart rate would go up and I'd see that it isn't him my heart would feel like it got punched.

Everyday I get angrier at myself for missing him. I hate the fact that I miss having him around and hanging out with him. Of course the one thing that actually started to make my days better left. I can never be happy. Recently I've started to realize that no one will ever actually love me.

It might be weird to say but I've had dreams about him recently. I usually wake up startled thinking it's real and start crying. There were times that I swear I could smell his misty scent lingering around. One night I looked at the flowers he had gotten me during the first week I didn't see him and I thought of the day he gave me them. That was a good day but when I remembered it my eyes got clouded with tears because now I don't want to remember that day.

Now it's the day after Christmas. I have Lily and Josh at my apartment for a gift exchange we do every year. I'm so excited to give them their gifts. I've had both their things for months.

I got Lily tickets for an Ashe concert. She's been dying to see her ever since her new Ashlyn album came out. There are two tickets so she could take whoever she wants. She even got Josh and I into some of her songs. Me without you is one of my favorites. I don't know the lyrics make so much sense. I'm pretty sure when she says go find yourself she really means go fuck yourself.

For Josh I got him a Batman book. He's such a big fan of batman, like a huge fucking obsession. That's been since he was little though. His parents bought him a Batman themed bed and everything. He kept the bed when he got a new one. It's in a closet at his apartment not put together. When his parents told him to give it away be started to tear up and said "That's my favorite thing in the world." Lily and I were at his house when he told them that.

Every year we do this Lily makes us sit in a circle and put our two gifts in front of us. So that's how we're sitting in the middle of my living room. Lily demanded that open her gift first then Josh's. She passes me the big box with Christmas wrapping on it. Ripping open right when she hands it to me I see a white box. Huh. What would this possibly be? It's a pretty big box though.

I open the box and see what looks like a guitar case. Omg no way. I look up to Lily with my mouth open, shocked that she got me this. I've wanted a guitar for the longest time.

"OMG! LILY! Are you serious??" I say still looking at her in shock. I rub my eyes quickly to make sure it's actually a guitar case in front of me.

"Open it Tay!" Lily says pointing at the case in front of me. I open it quickly, seeing an original acoustic guitar inside. Slapping my hand over my mouth. It's so pretty. I could cry right now and I think I might start balling right here.

"This is perfect! Thank you so much Lil." I say leaning over and putting my arms around her tightly.

"Of course." she says putting her hand around me too. I feel someone else put their arm around me and know it's obviously Josh.