lies

17

Taytum Moore

Today's the day I see him again.

I'm not sure if I'm ready but to be honest I don't think I'll ever be ready to see him again. When I see him It'll just undo everything I've worked for since he went away. I like everything right now. Everything's okay. That's honestly a first and I've been trying my best to keep everything the way it is.

I know that everything is not always gonna be perfect but I just want everything to at least be okay. Harry's coming to the trial with me today so I probably won't freak out as much as I would without him.

He calms me down.

Other than Harry going, my parents are also going with my brother, also Josh and Lily. I told them they didn't have to come but they insisted on coming. Don't get me wrong though I'm very happy they're here with me too. I feel safer with all of my family here, that's including Harry, my mom already told him that he's a part of the family.

Which made my dad's head tilt up to look at all of us when we were sitting at my parents dining room table. With my dad's look I felt Harry tense beside me but he relaxed once my dad just gave him a small nod then looked back down at his plate of food.

I wish I could go back to that day right now.

Instead, Harry is driving us to the court house now, he has his hand in mine with both of our hands resting on my lap. Every time I've thought about all the stuff about him I know that Harry has noticed because I'd squeeze his hand by accident.

"We're almost there, lovey." I hear Harry say from beside me with resistance behind his voice, him wanting to let me know it's almost time is both comforting in a way that he's trying to warn me but then also nerve wracking because we're getting close to the one person I never wanna see again. As Harry pulls up at the front of the court house parking across the street from the front. We both get out of the car, Harry quickly getting out and making his way over to my side of the car, while I get out slowly taking off my seatbelt with deep breaths as Harry's already opening my door.

Not yet Taytum, nothing's happening. Calm down.

I get out of the car with Harry closing the door behind me, his hand reaching out for mine being a habit to always walk closer. As we intertwine our hands my other hand wraps around his arm of the hand of his I'm holding and we make our way across the street to the last place I'd like to be.

As we make our way into the court house, I feel everyone's eyes on me. Probably because I'm a part of a case that involves a cop's son. It still shocks me sometimes that Tanner's dad is a cop. He's basically like your typical kinda dad, spending his free time drinking beer at home while watching football. I never really would've guessed him to be a cop though.

I see some reporters standing outside filming for the "Chief's son" and probably saying "He's innocent, the girl just wants attention." I've seen the reports since everything happened, and of course no one's on my side. They didn't have to go through anything I've gone through.

It's crazy how much therapy has helped in such little time. When everything went down I couldn't talk about anything, not even think about anything. Over time I've realized that his name is a trigger word and that's something everyone knows not to say to me. I'm probably going to hear it multiple times today, which my therapist has been talking to me about.

Her name is Juliette, I call her Jules though. She's one of the most kind-hearted people I've ever met. When I started my sessions, she realized we had to move very slow. So instead of telling her my problems, I'd write them in a journal. I wouldn't write full entries though, just small details of things that have happened.