Stars of Blood

Fifteen 𖤓 Conan

Fireflies floated amongst the petals. They danced fiercely, glowing in the light of the roses. But they didn't land on the roses.

No, they only landed on the purple flowers that sprouted up here and there. They were nothing like I had ever seen. Truly glorious in design.

I stood still among them, breathing in their fresh bloom as I closed my eyes. The breeze blew softly, wrapping around my body like a hug. First, the hands embraced me like those of a mother, soft and gentle, and then they rested on my jaw, my cheeks. Still, I didn't dare open my eyes for fear they would disappear.

But then the wind spoke. It couldn't make it out at first so I stopped my breathing and listened carefully.

"Conan, trust me. You must follow the firefly."

I took a breath again and opened my eyes. I was no longer in the meadow but in my room. It was dark but I could still see. A small light came from my window, just sitting on the sill out in the open. I watched it flicker before floating through the air and disappearing into the night.

Maybe the voice was teasing me. I could not follow the firefly. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't leave this place. I gave up a while ago of ever trying. That's why I no longer craved to leave, it was because I knew I couldn't. But I did still crave the roof and the fresh air.

Yes, I called it torture chamber and constantly talked about leaving but deep down, I didn't care. I would be stuck here until someone let me out.

Just beyond the city's horizon, I could see the faint glow of the sun. Morning was coming.

I hated mornings. They reminded me of a marshy field of blood. Of Ravis' head split in two. Of Anubis' devastation. Raff's devastation. Mine. It hurt to watch the sunrise. To know that in that moment, I couldn't have changed anything even if I tried. If I had tried to help, Ravis would still be dead and so would I.

Running had been the right thing. It had let us live another day. Fight another day.

But it still felt cowardly.

It made me feel sick.

I turned away from the window and closed my eyes. I wanted more sleep but it didn't come. The meadow of roses and violet flowers, Ravis' dead body and Anubis' tears terrorized my mind.

It would have been nice to have a hug. I craved those daily but no one ever gave me one except for Miss Caale and although she tried, I didn't really like her hugs. And I knew Ferelith would give me one if I asked but I never did. It was the same reason I never asked Anubis, or anyone she was affiliated with, for a hug. Constantly serious, I wouldn't call their hugs exactly... warm.

The only one I would accept a hug from is Arin, and maybe her brother. Although Arin is Fourth on Anubis' War Council, she is probably the warmest person I know. Arin also gives hugs freely. With her, I never have to ask. And if she hugs someone just because, she probably realizes that person just needs one.

I could definitely use one right now.

I could feel my thoughts eating at me. If I could, I would stay in my bed all day. I didn't even feel hungry. The only reason I would get up would be to go to the bathroom. Or if Ferelith came. But she came yesterday.

Miss Caale would probably drag me out when she came. I would let her, only because I didn't care.

My stomach rumbled but I ignored it and closed my eyes, burying myself deeper into my bed. I pulled my blankets over my head, blocking the rising sun, wishing it was still night. Part of me wished I was still that field of roses. Of magical purple flowers. Of fireflies. I knew it wasn't real but I wished it to be. I wanted to be there.

Then follow the firefly.

I opened my eyes and sat up.

"Who's there?"

Only darkness answered as did the wind beating against the window. There was a firefly there, sitting on the windowsill just as before. I could feel it beckoning. Without thinking, I threw my blankets back and touched my feet to the floor of my room.

But then a light knock sounded on my door and I whipped my head to it.

"Master Ramelle?" a voice asked hesitantly.

"What is it?"

"There is a letter for you."

I thought a moment before asking, glancing at the windowsill only to see that firefly was now gone, "Who is it from?"

"Anubis."