"I fucking hate you." I growl, my fists balling at my sides as I restrain from punching his perfect face.
He grins, his snowy hair falling in his eyes as he advances me, his irises glistening with mischief. "Oh, yeah? Come on, Florence. Show me just...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Chapter Five
I tuck my knees to my chest, the soft yet coarse material of my jeans brushing the tip of my chin. My eyes wander around the back of the Subaru, the small vibrations of my ear buds tickling the inside of my ears. Lastly, my eyes land on the scenery out of the slightly tinted windows.
We drive through Edwards, California smoothly. The trip was about three hours long and the whole time I have been listening to music or speeches, drowning out the noise of everyone's chatter.
I'm listening to a small speech right now. It is quite known but for some reason it hits a string in my heart, tugging and abusing until there is nothing but sadness consuming me. Of course, it wears off after a couple of minutes but it still hurts.
"Well now really when we go back into falling in love. And say, it's crazy. Falling. You see? We don't say "rising into love". There is in it, the idea of the fall. And it goes back, as a matter of fact, to extremely fundamental things. That there is always a curious tie at some point between the fall and the creation. Taking this ghastly risk is the condition of there being life. You see, for all life is an act of faith and an act of gamble. The moment you take a step, you do so on an act of faith because you don't really know that the floor's not going to give under your feet ... so, actually, therefore, the course of wisdom, what is really sensible, is to let go, is to commit oneself, to give oneself up and that's quite mad. So we come to the strange conclusion that in madness lies sanity." -Alan Watts
By the time the car slows down and everyone becomes hyperfocused of where we are, my nails are have been bitten down to small nubs and they throb with a dull ache. I hear my name being faintly called but I ignore it, my eyes closing as I lean my head against the cold window, small droplets of water running down the glass.
"Oh my fucking—" My left ear bud is popped out of my ear and I clench my jaw, lifting a hand up and flipping the person, who did so, off. "Maeve, we're here. Get your depressed ass out of the car and let's go fuck some shit up."
Jessie. I open my eyes and stare at my best friend. She lets everyone pile out of the car before leaning close to me. "Hey, let's go, Babe. I know it's hard but you've got this. Just try to have fun."
I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder at age fourteen. Jessie is one of the only people that knows this and has been by my side—I go through episodes where I will be completely fine; jumping around and doing things. Then, everything goes to shit. I stop showering and taking care of myself. I can usually tell when it's going to happen and Jessie tends to come over during those times, picking up my room and just being there for me.
I don't deserve her.
Sighing, I push my hood down and jump out of the car, slamming the door shut behind me. My phone slides into my back pocket and I strut up to the Ford truck, following Jackson, Alex, Leo, and Landon.
