To Have & To Hold [All JunZhe Ships]

Essence of Wounds (Part 1/2)

Post-canon/ Reincarnation: Zhou Zishu hates Wen Kexing for leaving him behind, because hating Wen Kexing is easier than loving him. (this short story can be found in a separate book on my profile + the extra & epilogue)

1. Dark Waters

It's been long. It was time. It was enough. He had cheated death for so long, and now it was time to end it all. Zhou Zishu had finally loathed Wen Kexing enough to get rid of his own life; the life that Wen Kexing gave him.

He had vowed before, to continue to love him, to honor his sacrifice and live for him, to bite the wound and rejoice after the grief. This was Wen Kexing's token of love, his soulmate's sacrifice, the energy flowing through his body was his... and if it weren't for him, Zhou Zishu would long be gone.

But was this really the result he desired? The eternity he was promised? The 'in life and death' they pledged for?

Zhou Zishu slashed his palm every day with Wen Kexing's fan, reminiscing how physical wounds hurt to relieve the one in his heart. He grieved, mourned, cried and screamed and tried to kill himself in various ways so many times, before remembering that this was Wen Kexing's life he was taking- again. But the longer he dragged this lonely pitiful life of his, the darker the love was stained with inky hatred, until all what he's got left was a black heart.

Wen Kexing lied, he tricked him and snatched away his choice and now Zhou Zishu was alone in this hell of a world. Nothing mattered anymore; neither Wen Kexing nor his sacrifice- lies. And as deep as Zhou Zishu loved him, he now loathed. He kept his hands cold to remember how Wen Kexing's felt in his own the day he died. He kept the image of Wen Kexing's lifeless body in his mind so he could remind himself of his betrayal. He loathed him with every drop of blood running through his veins, with a passion burning like thousand suns, with a desire to pierce a sword right through Wen Kexing's heart and watch the blood spill against his blade. He wanted him to die again, but on his hands. He wanted to bury him again, to laugh in his dying face and take joy in his pain.

This was what Wen Kexing deserved for breaking his promises and leaving Zhou Zishu behind, for abandoning him without a goodbye and forcing him to mend his own incurable wounds.

The grudge Zhou Zishu held was like deep, cold and dark water, he sank into it the more he lived, until he was no other than a lonely, frozen, forgotten shipwreck.

And now, centuries later, Zhou Zishu was still grieving but not for love. He couldn't remember how it felt to love Wen Kexing, he despised him... Because hating Wen Kexing was less painful than loving him. It was... an easy way out.

Zhou Zishu huffed wickedly at the thought of Wen Kexing as he sipped his iced tea slowly, imagining how good it would feel if he could pay him back with the same pain he had caused him. "We'll meet in hell." He mouthed, laughing, and put the cup down, taking out his newly bought cell-phone to try to figure it out. He'd been living in the common world for few months yet it wasn't until now that he decided to buy one of those.

It wasn't his first time among people, he had always followed the modernity and innovation through the centuries, going back and forth to discover what's new and what's not. However, this time he didn't come here for a short vacation, he came to stay and die here. The life that Wen Kexing had given him didn't matter anymore, nor did Wen Kexing.

He fumbled with the phone, searching for some buttons when his screen caught the reflection of someone behind him.

Someone.

Someone with white hair and familiar eyes.

Someone who looks like-

Zhou Zishu immediately turned around to see someone who looks exactly like Wen Kexing, someone with long white hair, flowing loosely from his half bun, over his shoulders and down his back. Beautiful, painful, spiteful.