It's been 2 weeks now. I have been avoiding him. Our eyes met as he passed me. Dressed in a fresh green tone. A surpreme hoodie. And like always his bag over his right shoulder. He bleached his hair last week. It looked good on him. Way to good if you ask me.
He was definitely angry at me and he used every opportunity to make me realize that he still is. So we gather present and past. My crush is pissed at me. And thats how you can imagine my mood nowadays. I'm pissed. At myself. I already "forgave" him. I mean he literally did nothing. It's just my stupid mind, which likes to mess with me.
I placed the phone on my table, as I took a few steps back. Making it click a photo. Setting a 5seconds timer.
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I moved towards my phone and looked at the picture I just took. It looked kind of good I guess. So I decided to post it on Instagram. Offering my dear loved classmates more material to talk about. Since my Instagram was official. Damn I'm nearly as famous as Namjoon. So many people, that desperately wait for my next move. Just to scream about it haha.
With a sleeping emoji I set it free on Instagram. Plugging my ear phones in and enjoying the disgusting stares which were thrown at me. But nowadays Namjoon was one of them. But he didn't react on an stupid Instagram post, but the fact that I got him in trouble for quitting. Since he was the one, who took me out of class. With permission ofcourse. Unlike me, he actually cares about school. He has been giving me these disgusted glances here and there for a whole week. And it made me mad. I did felt bad yes.
But he is my weakness. Beeing weak makes me angry. He was pure 𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐦 to my mind. I sometimes really wish I could completely erase his damning existence in my life. My reason for life and at the same time my own little cup of poison.
The lesson began. I sat back. Hoodie above my head. Eyes on Namjoon. He sat directly infront of me. Which made it impossible for him to hide his glances. But it was possible for me on the other side. I was so close, I could smell his parfume. He smelled gorgeous. Strong but still soothing. It felt comfortable. Attractive? I don't know. What I know is that this smell took away all my senses.
The lesson went by very fast. I was captured in his self. I don't even know which topic this lesson had. If I tell you, I even forgot the subject. I sighed as he still wrote, even after the lesson ended. 'So diligent, oh my.' I adored him for a bit. The others slowly left. I will stay here for break. I wanna be alone today. Still I was hoping for Namjoon to stay aswell.
I confuse myself probably more, than I confuse him. I should stay the fuck away from him. 'He is not good for me.'
I kept saying in my head. And suddenly he stood up. Leaving the room. That suddenly? I looked at his desk. He left his lunchbox behind. For a dumb second I was thinking of running after him and giving it to him. I laughed out loud. I really turned insane at this point. I brought the volumn of my earphones high up. Causing thousand waves of a loud echo to slide into my brain, through my ears.
