𝙱𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝙱𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚜/ 𝚂𝚎𝚋𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚊𝚗 𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚗 𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚜

𝙱𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚢‎✪

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: Bucky's recovery from his time as the winter soldier was a long road. But the final challenge proves to be the toughest.

Warnings: angst, tfatws spoilers! 1x04

Word Count: 1,191

a/n: I wrote this in an hour because episode 4 completely broke my heart and this is how I plan on coping. Spoilers below!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The fire was your only source of light as the three of you waited in silence. Months of tireless work had lead to the current moment and the tension hung thickly in the air.

You stood side by side with Ayo as Bucky sat in front of the fire, aimlessly glaring into the flames. He was terrified and you didn't blame him.

You were all aware that what you were about to attempt wouldn't be an easy task. Banishing the Winter Soldier from Bucky's subconscious had been a draining process, both mentally and physically. And you knew the final test would be the worst yet. And Bucky knew he wouldn't be able to do it alone. Or rather, he didn't want to. That's why you were there. He needed someone he could trust, someone he cared for. Someone that could anchor him to the real world and offer him comfort whilst he faced his demons.

Ayo shuffled impatiently and turned to you with a curt nod. It was time to begin. Bucky was still in a daze, expression blank. You weren't sure if he was aware that he was now visibly shaking.

You stepped forward and softly placed your hand against his shoulder. He flinched at first before immediately relaxing under your touch. He exhaled slowly.

"It is time," Ayo said and you carefully seated yourself next to Bucky, so close your shoulders brushed.

He turned to you with a justifyingly troubled expression, his eyebrows creased, his lips pressed into a thin line and his eyes, his eyes panic-stricken.

"You're sure about this?" His voice was nothing more than a hushed whisper, only barely audible over the crackling of the fire.

Smiling reassuringly, you nodded and inched closer to him. He did his best to focus solely on you and nothing else. But despite his best efforts his heart still thumped against his ribcage and his mind became increasingly crowded with what if's as he reminded himself of everything that could possibly go wrong.

"Shuri's confident that it's going to work." You said softly and Bucky's eyes saddened further as he glanced at you helplessly.

"She's not the one I don't trust."

"I won't let you hurt anyone," Ayo promised and you both knew she meant it. Bucky's terrified gaze fell to the dirt but you managed to coax him back into looking at you with soft pleas and a gentle hand under his chin.

"I'll be okay. We'll be okay." You comforted. You gently took his hand in your own, lacing your fingers together and placing your free hand against his forearm. He looked at you in desperation. "I'm not going anywhere."

His hold on your hand tightened as you nodded to Ayo to begin. This was it. She stepped forward, repeating each word slowly and clearly.

'Longing.'

Bucky's expression turned somber as he glared into the flames. He clenched his jaw in hopes of hiding his trembling lip.

'Rusted.'

Fear broke through his facade as his eyes glazed over and he fought back tears. You muttered quiet words of encouragement and comfort.

'Seventeen.'

"It's not going to work," Bucky said desperately, his voice laced with fear. You moved your hand to gently run up and down his back and shushed him quietly.

"It will, Bucky. It will."

'Furnace.'

He inhaled sharply as he shook his head. Your hand came to rest against his shoulder and he subconsciously leaned into you as the horrors of his time spent as hydras puppet jumped to the forefront of his mind.

'Nine.'

Tears were not visibly building in his eyes and staining his pale cheeks.

'Benign.'

He gritted his teeth as he grappled with himself. All those nights you'd spent lying awake together when the memories were too bad for sleep to even seem plausible. All the times you'd been forced to hold him down and beg him to wake up when he'd been plagued by nightmares. All those times completely paled in comparison to how vulnerable he looked now.

'Daybreak.'

His hand tightened around yours with such strength you couldn't withhold a gasp. For a moment, his iron grip had you fearing that the Soldier had clawed his way back into control.

'Homecoming.'

But one glance at his tear-filled eyes and you knew it was still Bucky. Still your Bucky. Fighting to keep control of his mind.

'One.'

His tears fell freely, his lip trembling and you wanted nothing more than to comfort him. To pull him to you and assure him that he was alright, that he was safe. But you knew he needed to do this alone.

'Freight car.'

As the final words were spoken, silence fell over you all again. Both you and Ayo watched Bucky attentively, waiting for a reaction. Your hands lay still against him but they ached to move, to comfort him and wipe away his tears. But you had to wait.

After a few moments that stretched out to feel like an eternity, you desperately turned to Ayo, who was standing behind you and still watching Bucky with the same vigilance you had been. She nodded to you, almost unable to hide her smile.

"Bucky?" You tried timidly, gently squeezing his hand. He still looked terrified.

"You are free," Ayo whispered, unable to keep her own emotions from seeping into her voice. "You are free."

He turned to you in astonishment, his cheeks damp and his eyes mirroring the fear and uncertainty of a child.

"It's okay." You gently raised your hand and caressed his cheek, brushing away his tears. He leaned into your touch, exhaling frailly. "You're okay. You did it, Bucky."

What was left of his composure crumbled as he broke, overcome with emotion and sobbing in relief. He was free. He was finally free.

He fell against you and you wasted no time in wrapping your arms around him as he buried into the crook of your neck. You ran your hand through his hair and softly comforted him as you held him close.

Ayo turned away as she blinked away her own tears. She'd witnessed Bucky's struggles and seen first-hand the extent of his pain. He deserved peace and happiness and knowing those very things were now within his grasp caused a lump to form in her throat.

She nodded to you as she took her leave. Her work was done. Now Bucky needed you.

"It's alright." His sobs slowly died down into quiet whimpers as you held him close. "I've got you."

He breathed a quiet laugh of disbelief against your shoulder and you smiled. He was drained, the exhaustion of what he'd just went through clashing with the uncontrollable joy he felt, knowing he'd been freed from so many burdens he'd been forced to carry.

But for now, until feeling returned to his legs and he could think a coherent thought, Bucky had no desire to move from where he was huddled into your side.

"Stay?" He whispered against your neck, not having the strength to say much else. You smiled and hummed softly.

"I told you," you placed a gentle kiss to his temple. "I'm not going anywhere."