Damian Wayne Oneshots

Jon's guide to living with a wild rare Damian

1. Damian never wears pants, even if it's cold. He just piles up a bunch of blankets but NEVER pants

2. Your clothes will always mysteriously leave your closet within only a few days. If you buy a button up flannel, a black shirt, and god forbid a hoodie. It will be gone forever

3. He needs to have at least one bar of chocolate a day, he loves to eat healthy but he definitely has a sweet tooth and a large appetite for chocolate

4. If we go on a walk he must stop to pet every single cat he sees and even stop to play with some friendly stray dogs. It take an extra hour to get to our destination and back home

5. If Damian turns full on demon I need to comfort him. There is usually a reason he put his full form on and it's usually because he lost control and did something he regrets

6. Always cuddle him at night, he will protest and try to pry you off but you know deep down he likes it. And if he wakes up in the middle of the night and he sees you on you game and not in bed with him, he will enact vengeance

7. Give him at least seven doses of attention a day. Again he acts like he doesn't want/need it but he does and he deserves it and you have to let him know that

8. Regularly go outside and do something that makes you sweat and requires you to take your shirt off. He will watch closely with hungry eyes, just like how my mom used to do to my dad but less disturbing. ugh

9. Always be there to watch him train so he doesn't get hurt and I can watch him move around it tight pants with no shirt on

10. Keep Bruce Wayne away from him. He will only cause Damian to panic and become insecure

11. As a matter of fact, keep the whole batfamily away from Damian. Except Alfred

12. If he starts crying don't let him leave the room or else he will lock himself away and will cause some destruction if his emotions keep building up and becoming too unbalanced

13. If something is clearly wrong then ask him about it and make sure he's ok but do NOT pry into his feelings and force him to tell you

14. Make sure your Damian is very well fed because if you don't he will stop eating on his own, he has had an eating disorder for a number of years so you must make sure he eats but don't force it

15. Give him daily reminders that he is beautiful and that you love him. If he's says no or denies your claims then you must THROW HIM ONTO THE BED AND FUCK HIM LIK-  I mean you must hug him and reassure him that he is beautiful and loved

16. If someone starts to hit on him then you have to stay calm because you don't want to aggravate your Damian from being what he calls an "overprotective boyfriend". But when his back is turned you make sure that they never see the light of day ever again

17. Damian hates people...

18. When Damian comes out wearing a short or tight dress or skirt take lots and lots of pictures and put them in a locked photo vault so no one will ever find them

19. If your Damian's mother comes around be very respectful because she could kill you with the snap of a finger

20. When Damian comes to your office wearing almost nothing, take and early break

21. Remind him our house is not a zoo, he can not adopt every animal he sees