The Tailors Artist [Guardian Shen Wei X Zhao Yunlan]

Ch. 14 Day

The day has finally come when I get to meet my didi, Yezhun.

As if I foresaw the future I digged up the capsule I dug containing everything Zhao gave me. I ran outside the mansion into the woods and dug another hole to bury it.

I went back, showered and changed then went down for breakfast.

Since there was food on the table I knew Zhujio was coming today with Yezhun sooner or later.

When I was done I sat on the couch and stared at the TV. Silently listening to the clock and waiting for the door to open.

I wondered how I'd react when I saw Yezhun. Then I wondered what'd I do after...would I go back to being a Tailor shop owner?

Now that Yezhun is good and it's been long since I've worked I felt like my existence was pointless.

Yezhun was my motivation, it's so hard to make sense that there was a time when Zhujio wasn't around and Yezhun wasn't sick.

Why did I work then? And why am I so different now? Why can't I go back to being that side of me?

I remembered squashing paint with Yunlan and thought, maybe that version of me no longer exists. I am someone else entirely.

What would this new me be? Suddenly I felt I hard to breath again and rolled down the coach to the floor trying to catch my breath.

Who am I? What do I like? How do I continue without knowing? I can't understand myself...maybe I am a mystery.

Maybe no one would figure me out because I don't seem to know me either.

Why did I let myself go?

Each reasoning and each question brought me pain. It felt like my heart wanted to jump out, it felt like my heart was freezing over and over.

I beat my chest, I tugged at my hair, I bite my hand but I felt it all numb.

I got scared cause everything seemed blurry. I couldn't feel anything. I was just loosing myself more and more.

But it was weird because no matter how much blood I lost, I still felt everything.

The only difference now might be that I'm stuck between wanting to feel and not. I don't get it though, what's so hard that makes me want to Not feel.

I just got beaten, I just got bullied by people, I just did things I didn't want to do, I stayed quiet even though it wasn't my fault....but now I'm starting to believe that it was.

What was my fault though? What caught Zhujio was my face. Hide it.
Even though I don't want to believe it Is since I started the shop there were already many molesters.

If it wasn't Zhujio, who else? Maybe I got lucky with him.
After all, he did have me do hobbies. He did leave me alone...it wasn't constant torment.

Maybe I shouldn't call it torment either though. It was all bearable. The bruises healed after a couple weeks.

What am I doing? Am I trying to blame myself, approve of it or ...or what?

Stop thinking about it. It's meaningless. It's over now. The future. Think about the future. What are you going to do?

Your didi will pass any second now and look at you all pathetic. Get yourself together! As the oldest one you need to be composed.

Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine. Your fine. Don't think.

I stood back up and sat on the couch, crossing my fingers together and stared at the rug.

Waiting.

Just then the door opened and I looked over expecting to see the calming, energetic smile from Yezhun.

"Yezhun, your here." I said walking over. I tried reaching out for a hug but my hands felt heavy and they started to tremble. I put them down and hid it behind my back and forced a smile.

"I heard you got married....although I wasn't able to attend the wedding now Your getting divorced" said Yezhun pouting.

"Sorry, things just didn't work out and ended up like that. I hope I'll be able to attend yours though" I said looking over at Zhujio.

"Your brother and I will still be in contact so it's not like we ended off in bad terms" explained Zhujio.

"Right, didi. Let's get you used to getting back in shape. And sorry, even though you just arrived here we already have to go due to the separation" I said apologetically handing Yezhun a three boxes full of his stuff.

"That's alright, I don't want to make things hard for you guys" said Yezhun going back to the car to load his boxes.

I looked back at Zhujio who looked at Yezhun pleased and I felt my heart drop. What if this time he wants Yezhun?

Is this jealousy? Or am I afraid he'd go through the same as me?

*cough cough cough*

"Sorry, We'll be going now" I said trying to block my mouth waving goodbye and slowly closing the door.

Zhujio grabbed my hand and said "Here's a million dollars. Use it for whatever you want."

"Thanks" I nodded then smiled and shut the door.

I didn't search for any hotels or call any apartments that have space available but I remembered when Yunlan said a good hotel.
First, I went to where I buried the capsule and dug it back out.
I asked Yezhun to search up the hotel and we drove there. Luckily they're was spots open and booked the night.

I searched with Yezhun for apartments near a school.

While Yezhun checked off some listed apartments and called them I looked at his resume and edited it.

It was 3 am and we headed off to sleep.

Woke up, showered, changed and had breakfast at the lobby then made our way towards the first apartment option.

I didn't really care what it looked like so I left the feel of it up to Yezhun.

We made 6 tours and just before Yezhun asked for a 7th I said to pick between the first 6 and thats final.

Yezhun pouted wanting to check more but obeyed.

We ended up with the 4th one. Yezhun decided to work at a day care. I bought him some clinical psychology and behavioral psychology that were more up to date on top of having him review his notes.

I searched all the time during my free time about being a teacher, care taker, etc.
But it was all vague, most of the needed material were given by the institute.

I just ironed his clothes, made a lunchbox and prepared basic supplies in his bag then set the alarm.

It was morning again and I struggled getting Yezhun out of bed by constantly yelling at him to get up and dragged him with the smell of food.

It took an hour but I knew he wouldn't wake up, it took a wet towel and a bunch of pillows being thrown at him to finally open his eyes.

As Yezhun ate breakfast, I made a to do list of what to buy and asked Yezhun to take the keys to the car.

Once he left I started off cleaning and shopping but I still had a lot of the day left so I began my search for a job.

I've done business before so why couldn't I do it again? Yezhun can't be the only one bringing in money.

And like that 10 months had passed.