How You Get The Boy || h.s au

10. Dear Diary: 2

5th September 2015

Dear Diary,
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀I've done all my work, for now. I used to complain about all the work I got at high school but it's nothing compared to uni work. At least I enjoy the uni work.

The things I read in Harry's journal are extremely distracting and as hard as I try I just can't keep my mind off him... Honestly if you have any advice I'd love to hear it- fuck I'm writing a diary and expecting it to reply back, that's gotta be a sign of madness right? Right.

I just don't know how I feel, earlier I was crying pathetically over a boys words then I'm Fangirling over his smile as if he's a famous boyband member who's got all the ladies falling for him.

I've tried everything, talking to people, watching TV, stalking Twitter but nothing's working my mind just automatically takes me back to him. Every time I think about him I get this warm fuzzy feeling, I love and hate that feeling- it makes me feel good but at the same time it tears me apart because deep down he's Prince Charming and I'm one of the ugly sisters that watches as Cinderella marries the prince. I hate having a crush, they're the worst. They make me feel like I'm nothing, as if I need a man to function but I don't I'm fine on my own however that sense of independence doesn't change my feelings for Harry. I wonder who he spoke so highly of in his diary, he truly is smitten and I hope to god if he ever does build the confidence up to make her his she better treat him right. I know he'll treat her right.

Belle asked earlier if I thought the girl was me and the tiniest part of me though maybe it was but that was shattered into a trillion pieces when I realised we only have one class together, photography and in his short diary entry he said they had two classes together... Who could it be? Whoever it is I immediately know I'm going to hate her, she could be the sweetest girl on the planet and I'd still hate her... Well envy her because she stole my boy and without her in the picture I might of had a chance. Fuck you girl-that-Harry-likes. Can you imagine cuddling with Harry though? It would be like snuggling a large teddy bear whose fur is curly and soft, we'd be so close that I could hear his heartbeat and my breathing would soon match his then we'd fall asleep just like that in each others arms...

Stop Aurora! So many feels right now... I wish I could be more like Belle, she doesn't care for anyone in the way I do Harry and if she did she'd just tell him because she doesn't care about rejection. But if I did tell Harry I don't think my heart could stand the 'I'm sorry but you're not my type' look he'd most defiantly give me. Trust me I've seen him do it to other girls.

Goodbye
Aurora x

_
Another diary entry! Sorry I didn't update last night, I forgot to write it then didn't realise until ten and if I'd wrote it last night my sleeping pattern (which I'm working on) would've been fucked so sorry for the late update.

Also we got 2K! Thank you

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