When Archer Met Hailey (EDITING)

11. Battle of Confidence and Sarcasm

Princess - Italics
Buttercup - Bold
Jayden - Bold Underline

INCOMING CALL...
BUTTERCUP

"Buttercup! Good Morrrrrring!"

*Laughs*
"Good Mornin' to you too Darling."

"Thank you, good sir. To what do I owe the pleasure on this fine morning?"

"You know the usual, just wanted to kick off the weekend with a dose of sugar and spice and everything sarcasm."

"That's not how that saying goes. Nice is the word you are looking for."

"If that's so, then I called the wrong person."

"Are you implying that I, Ice Queen, Princess, whatever you call me is not nice?"
*gasp*

"I just call it like I see it, Princess."

"Call it like you see it? How many times do I have to remind you that we are on a thing called the phone, Buttercup? You can't see anything over the phone. My jock's poor pea size brain. Don't worry, I'll be here to help you every step of the way. You are not alone."

"I don't know if I should be offended that you are insulting my intelligence or if I want to aww at how cute you sound when you are trying to insult me. I am going to go with the latter. It just shows that you care enough to attempt to insult me. Just admit it, I know you are growing to love me."

"I would have picked the first choice, because I was insulting your intelligence. I do think it's cute that you want me to care. I mean how can I not, with all of the cockiness and overconfidence you put out. How could I resist that? Oh, yes make my heart swoon."

"Now, princess, didn't your mother teach you that sarcasm is just another way to bully someone. You are taking low blows here. Rest assured that my self esteem will not falter. I always come up on top."

"Is that a challenge?"

"Hmm...Does it sound like I am challenging you?"

"Yes, yes it does. Challenge accepted. Your cocky confidence versus my sarcasm and wits. We will see who will truly come out on top."

"I intend to. Before we even determine who won, you will be like puddy in my hands."

"So the taunting begins. Okay Mr. Cocky, do your worst."

"For someone who had zero experience talking to guys it seems to come like second nature to you. I would not have even guessed if you didn't tell me."

"I know what you are doing. Flattery won't get you anywhere."

"It was worth a shot. Flattery isn't the only trick up my sleeve."

"I can imagine not. Judging by the size of your ego. Tell me how does your head stay on your shoulders from all the weight?"

"I can assure that my head is perfectly proportioned to the rest of my chiseled tone body. Thank you very much."

"Chiseled tone body? Was that necessary?"

"To me, yes."

"Any chance you get to remind me apparently how "Hot" you are. Yeah yeah we get it, you think you are good looking."

"I don't think I know. It's a proven fact. At least I know what I am. How about you? Scared to show the real you for fear of being rejected. So you stay invisible, you keep a low profile. Tell me princess, how has that been working for you?"

"Keep telling yourself that. I am sure it helps you sleep at night."

"I already told you what helps me sleep at night. How many times do I have to remind you? Don't worry, I'll be here to help you every step of the way. You are not alone. By the way, you avoided my question."

"Don't go using my words against me, mister. I wasn't avoiding your question. I just simply chose to redirect the conversation elsewhere."

"Nuh-uh, not happening. Answer the question."

"If you must know...I do not fear being rejected. Rejection leaves room for improvement. I just stay in my comfort zone. It's safe there most of the time. Old habits die hard I guess."

"You're a senior in high school. Do something out of your comfort zone, get in trouble, sneak out after curfew. Anything. You only live once."

"You're starting to sound like my brother. I do live, maybe not up to your standards of living. I mean right now I am doing something out of my comfort zone. I am talking to you."

"He sounds like a smart man. I am going to make it my mission to get you to do more things out of your comfort zone. I am going to pop the protective bubble you've created. But what did you mean by "It's safe there most of the time?"

"Yeah, I think both of you would get along. I have become a mission now? What I mean by that is...there are times where being in my comfort zone backfires. It all goes back to High Schoolers being jerks. Sometimes I become their prey. Most of the time I can go through a day being undetected. My best friend and I live for those days. Who wants to be pestered and demeaned everyday? No one. Always judging a book by It's cover, you won't know if you like something until you open the book and find out."

"You know it works both ways. You have to let someone close enough to open the book first before they can read it."

"Slowly but surely, Buttercup."

"I'll take what I can get. Listen, I have to go. My best friend just pulled up, and I have to find out why that fucker is here. If I can get him to go away I'll call you back."

"Hey shitface, where are you?"

"Your friend sounds lovely."

"Yeah he's a fucking peach. Bye princess."

"Have fun! Bye."

~~**Dial Tone**~~