Someone asked me what's it like to be depressed well here's a daily look into the life of a depressed girl
Monday
I wake up check my phone....nothing
Then I drag myself into the bathroom slowly pull off my clothes look down at my legs and my arms and my stomach cuts fresh ones and old one. but they're beautiful to me but they also haunt me. There my own artwork but I hate it I hate them so much. then i turn the water on hot really hot step into scolding water pain easeing my min but I eventually begin to think i hate thinking after spending time washing my cuts pain rushing through me when i touch them with the soap i get out and drag myself into a pair of jeans and long sleeve shirt trying to hide the art work on my body I'm not motivated enough to put on makeup so i throw my hair into a pony I go and put on my converse i drag myself out of the house and wait in the freezing cold for the bus i began to think oh my god i begin to think im afraid afraid of thinking I need that bus to come now because if it doesn't i going to just break down and then it comes thank goodness it's right there . I get on the bus to the screaming children all around me I sit down then they start asking me questions about what is on my arm you know what's on my arm but you should understand that I don't want to tell you about then your they ask me I questions like why did you do it when I don't you, you will respond with but why won't you tell me so I sit there in the quiet of my own music blasting in my ear we reach school I hurry to my locker the teacher sees me she knows she knows I cut she worriedly smile I hate her she's not it makes me think of a time when I was happy that I can imagine. Because I can't remember the last time I smiled a real smile so I grab my books to class and I run to my class so I will not be late and have to spend another hour at school but I'm late anyhow to my class and detention the teacher scream and I just show him the face that told him I really don't want to go but I will the teacher start talking about some random stuff but i can't focus and at the end of class she pulled you aside are you ok she is ask concerning me that you actually believe but i don't i leaving and say I'm fine i go to the bathroom sit in the back and start eating my lunch that i hate the most because when i eat I feel fat I just want to die but i dont t because all my luck I would live i go home after detition your mom makes sure you're OK i give her one word yeah and she's okay with that because she knows does she know . after dinner is done I go to my room i lay on my bed and listen to music and cry i blast the music so loud that no one can hear me cry then my mom walks into my room I make sure my face is dry so she won't question me anymore but she does " are you okay sweetie" you says yes I reply " tell me something please" and i ask her to get out my room please cuz I just want to be alone and she knows something's wrong but she doesn't ask .i just look at her with the face that i always give her basically telling her your little girl she's gone then i got to sleep well i cry myself to sleep but thats just a normal Monday for me
