The Odd Predicament I Faced

Chapter 1

All I hear is One Direction this and One Direction that... like seriously all I want to say is FUCK YOU One Direction! You ruined my life ever since my friend, Amy, found out about you guys... Sometimes I won't hang out with her just because whenever we start a conversation it always, ALWAYS, ends with five fags. Not only do I not find them unattractive, I mean they are no Channing Tatum's or David Beckham's, but I don't like their music either. I don't need someone to point out to me all my flaws, I know I'm not pretty but I keep that shit to myself... or that me not knowing I'm beautiful makes me beautiful, that song just makes no sense at all. But then again put 5 (average) guys on a beach singing to a girl about her beauty and BAM the song gets played on the radio every 5 minutes. One Direction is a pain in my ass! It's Friday night and Amy and I are supposed to go shopping for a club tomorrow night. As I'm walking up the steps to Amy's house, I hear music being played. "I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth, but if I do, it's you, oh it's you they add up to, and I'm love with you and all these little things..." UGH! Not this shit song again... before I could turn and leave the front door swings open to reveal Amy with red puffy eyes and blotchy skin. Panic quickly washes over my faces, "Amy! Oh my! Are you okay?" 

"NO! I am most definitely not okay!!" she yells 

I quickly ran and gave her a hug "Why? What happened?" 

"O-On-One D-d-d-ir-irec-rectio-tion's new video came out!" she hiccupped, " OH MY GOD MY FEELS!!" she clutches her shirt above her heart and practically faints in my arms. 

I dropped her on the ground, "Really Amy? Really? I should just punch you and leave all alone with this so-called 'pain'! Don't ever do that to me again, I thought something serious happened! I was ready to call the police!" 

She looked up at me and retaliated, "Something serious did happen! My ovaries exploded numerous times!" is she serious? Why am I friends with this girl? I thought to myself, "Don't try and call the police though, I called 20 minutes ago and they didn't think that my ovaries exploding because my idols sang a song to me that basically describes me was an emergency" we looked at each other with complete shock (different kinds of shock, mine was more of 'why is my best friend an idiot' and hers was devastation.) 

"Aw! You live such a hard life!" making sure that sarcasm was evident. 

"THANK YOU! At least someone understands my pain! The sad life of a directioner" unfortunately for me though, I don't think she picked up on the sarcasm. 

"Anyway... you ready to go shopping?" Hoping to change the subject. 

After a minute of hyperventilating, Amy finally calms down and smiles at me, "Yeppers, just give me a minute to grab my bag." She goes back inside her house. 

"Sure, I'll be waiting on the porch swing!" I called out. I swear  

this girl will give me a heart attack one day just because one of the retards changed their hairstyles. If I ever meet them, I might just punch them for changing my life for the worse. 

Or so I thought...