The Odd Predicament I Faced

Chapter 3

I was awoken at 8 am the next morning with my ringtone blasting a cover that Ed Sheeran sang, “Be my Husband” by Nina Simone.

Be my husband I’ll be your wife, be my husband I’ll be your wife, be my husband I’ll be your wife,  love and honour you for all yo – 

My morning voice cracking through the phone, “Ugh, he-ll-oo” 

Someone screamed through the phone, causing my eardrums to burst, “OOOOOOOOHHHHH MMMMMYYYYYYY GODDDDD!!!! JASMINE!!!”

“What Amy? Is it necessary to scream at the crack of dawn?” I know it’s only 8 am but I am NEVER up at this time during a Saturday and Amy knows this. Something serious must have happened.

“JASMINE ZIA BOUZIANI! HOW COULD YOU?” She screamed.

I jolted out of bed running around my place to find clothes to wear, “Huh? What happened? What did I do?” I finally found some sweatpants and shirt to wear running out of my room, grabbing my keys off the kitchen table about to head out the doors.

“HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME YOU MET ONE DIRECTION?! HUH??” she yelled, does she expect me to answer that? Guessing from the long pause, yes she wanted an answer.

I stopped dead in my tracks “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!? AMY I WAS ABOUT TO DRIVE OVER!!” I yelled at her, wait, I didn’t meet One Direction last night, what the fuck is this girl talking about. I took a deep breath, “Amy, I never met One Direction.”

“Don’t you dare fucking lie to me! It’s all over tumblr and twitter!” 

“Amy I swear I didn’t meet your precious One Direction, now let me go to sleep!” seriously this bitch needs to calm her tits…

“Did you, or did you not slap Harry last night?” she asked

“No Amy, I did not slap Harry. But last night I did slap some pervert because he came up to me and asked me to rock him. It was so disgusting”

Amy started squealing, “OMG HARRY STYLES ASKED YOU TO ROCK HIM?! AAAHHHHHHHH!!” she started screaming again, so held the phone away from my ear until she stopped. “Wait,” she continued, “and you said no?!?!? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU JASMINE?! One simply does not say no to Harry fucking styles! Especially if he asks you to rock him!! I have an idiot for a friend! Oh God help me!”  She exclaimed.

“What the fuck are you talking about? I just said it was a random perv…” this girl is obviously not getting it.

“UGH! I’m coming over to show you…” clearly exasperated.

1o minutes later

BAM BAM BAM “JAS OPEN THE DOOR!!” BAM BAM.

“Hold your horses, jeez.” I unlock the doors and Amy bursts through the doors shoving her phone in my face.

“You’re telling me that THIS isn’t you?” shoving her phone so close to my to eyes that the text becomes a blur.

I grab the phone from her hands and examine the photo. Hmm, this girl is wearing a black dress, so was the rest of the club still doesn’t prove it’s you. She has long brown ha-“OH MY GOD! THAT’S ME! AMY WHY THE FUCK AM I ON TUMBLR?” I questioned her.

Amy sighs and urges me to look at the photo again, “Take a look at who you’re standing in front of.”

I look back at the photo and in front of me was the guy I slapped last night, “OH MY GOD! Amy that’s the perv!” I exclaimed. 

“Nooooo, THAT’S Harry Styles!” she takes her phone back and looks for another picture, “Was this him?”

 She handed me her phone again but this time it had a picture of Harry all posed and what not. He does have the same curly hair, the same dimples and the same green ey- “UGHHH Harry Styles is a fucking asshole!” 

“I can’t believe my best friend met Harry Styles!”  Shock written all over her face as she collapsed on my couch.

“Uhm Amy, can you show me who else is in this band?” Remembering what Liam said that night, being friends with the pervert.

“Just look on my background” 

As soon as I saw the picture, I turned to Amy, “Ames, what’s this guy’s name?” pointing to a guy that looked like the Liam I met last night.

“Liam Payne, why?” she looked at me skeptically.

“Because after I slapped the asshole, I met Liam” I state.

“YOU WHATT??!!?? WHERE THE FUCK WAS I DURING ALL THIS?” she yelled at me while jumping up off the couch so we were eye level now. 

“Uhm, dancing?” I offer.

“This is complete and utter bullshit! I still can’t believe you said no to shagging Harry!” pacing around the living room as she massages her temples soothing her headache.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not a slut” 

“Whatever, you’re a hopeless cause” she sighs. 

After all that, we decided to have breakfast and I begged Amy to not talk about One Direction. But could she do it? No. As soon as she saw someone with stripes, she was all like “OMG, Louis would have totally worn that, Blah, blah, blah…” Ugh all I want is my sanity back, but at this rate doesn’t look like I’m getting it.