~Harry Potter Imagines~

Sirius Black ~ Back To December

(A/N ~ To those of you who don't immediately understand by the title or video or just don't know the song, this imagine is based on the song Back To December by Taylor Swift. Enjoy!)

"Hey Y/N, I'm so glad you made time to see me," Sirius said as you sat down beside him in the courtyard.
"Yeah, ummm how's life? I heard you moved in with James and his parents?", you said, trying to keep to small talk, "I haven't seen them in a while", you finished.
"I've been good, busier now that I'm living with the Potters," Sirius said.
You tried to keep up small talk.
"Your guards," Sirius commented.
"You know why," you replied shortly.
The last time you saw him still burned in the back of your mind,
you put yourself out there and he just left you there.
"I know, so this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night." Sirius said, turning to you as you saw tears brimming in his eyes.
"I go back to December all the time," Sirius said, sadly.
"So it turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing me?" You asked.
"Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine," Sirius finished for you.
"And you'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright?" You asked, annoyed, tears of frustration welling up in your eyes.
"I go back to December all the time," Sirius said sincerely, grabbing your hand.
You quickly pulled it back.
"Look Sirius, I loved you, I do love you, but I can't do this," You said standing up to walk away.
"Y/N wait, please." Sirius said, grabbing your wrist to stop you. "I haven't been sleeping, thinking about you, staying up playing that night I left over and over in my head," he said.
"What happened when my birthday passed and you didn't even make a point to see me?" You asked.
"I didn't think you wanted to see me," Sirius said.
"Well, I did." You said, pulling your arm out of his hand but not moving.
"I think about that summer, all the beautiful times, when I would watch you laughing with Lily by Black Lake."
"I realized I loved you in the fall," you returned quietly.
"And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into your mind", you said turning to face, tears running down your cheeks.
"You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye." Sirius said sadly looking at the ground.
"Y/N, I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind," Sirius said.
"I go back to December all the time," you whispered.
"I miss your soft skin, your sweet smile," You started, your voice cracking.
"You were so good to me, you were so right," Sirius said, "how you held me in your arms that September night, as I cried, when I left my parents house the first time." He continued.
"Maybe this is wishful thinking," Sirius said.
"Probably mindless dreaming," You replied, as Sirius reached for your hand.
"But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right," Sirius said, pulling you in.
"I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't. So if the chain is on your door, I understand." He said, looking into your eyes smiling sadly.
"But this is you swallowing your pride, standing in front of me saying you're sorry for that night?" You asked, a small smile growing on your face.
"And I'd go back to December," Sirius said, seeming to grow more confident from your smile.
"I know." You said.
"I love you Y/N." Sirius said, smiling softly as you.
"Took you long enough," You said as you pulled him into a hug.
"I love you too," you said softly into his shoulder.