The next morning Almara got up first and woke Gette up, Then Gette woke me up, then I woke up Bronwynn.
We all stayed on our phones for 20 minutes. Then Almara said "I want pancakes.. Sam make me pancakes."
"Ugh. Do I have too.."
"Yeeesss. I want pancakes toooo" Gette said.
"I wouldn't mind pancakes" Bronwynn said.
"I hate all if you for making me get up."
Then all at once they said "Love yoouu"
I got up and off my very comfortable, warm spot to make pancakes.
As I was cooking I got a call from a private number. "Hello?"
"Hi" *Mumbles* Then there was a new voice that I recognized.. "Are you eating right now?"
"Um. Soon yes.."
"Don't."
"Excuse me?"
"I said, Don't."
"Why is that?"
"Darling.." I definitely knew who this was.
"Your fat."
I hung up. I took the pancakes off the pan and put it on the plate. There was eight of them I'm pretty sure that was enough. "Guys.. Pancakes are ready.."
"YYAASS! Finallly" Gette said.
Everyone was fascinated on the pancakes so I walked to my room. I sat on my bed staring at the floor. Then a tear fell from my eye, down my cheek, and hit the floor. As did many others. I finally looked up. Straight at my face in the mirror. "You worthless, fat, piece of shit." I said to myself. I started crying more. I locked my bedroom door.
I grabbed it from my bedside table. I stared at it. With hatred as well as love. It was hated by many. Loved by some. A gleaming sharp object that held so many memories of hate.
One. I started to cry again.
Two. I bit my lip.
Three. I looked up closing my eyes taking in the pain.
I deserved this. I deserve every time I give myself pain.
It's my fault I keep eating.
It's my fault that I look stupid.
..It's my fault I'm alive..
Four. I hear a knock on my door.
Five. Bronwynn says "Sam?"
Six. I cry some more.
"Sam! Don't! You promised!!" Bronwynn said. I heard footsteps run down the hall. "What's that matter?" I heard Gette ask Bronwynn. Then I heard mumbling. Then I heard more footsteps. More mumbling.
"SAM! OPEN THE DOOR!" I heard Gette yell this time. I quickly washed up my face and everything else. And hit evidence. I opened the door. "Oh my god I'm glad your okay." Then Gette hugged me. "Wrist" Bronwynn said. With her hand out. "Why?"
"Sam. Im not stupid. Show me your wrist." I gave her my right wrist. "Sam. Don't fuck with me. Other one."
I wouldn't move. She grabbed it. And pulled up my sleeve. I winced with pain. "Sam.. How could you.. You promised.."
"IM A WORTHLESS FAT PIG THAT DESERVES TO DIE. JUST LET ME FUCKING DO IT."
"Sa-" She started to say but I pushed through them and ran out the door. In my socks. Dammit.
I ran to the old fair grounds. And pushed through some bushes and walked through a forest. Finally got to the old hill. The hill where me and my family used to go. I sat the for a minute trying to breathe. I then got up and walked down a pathway that my family sorta indented into the ground.
I started walking on it. It brought back old memories. There was only four people that knew about it. Me, My mom, my dad, and... Surenna.
The doctors used to say that my mom couldn't have a child. So they adopted Surenna. My older sister. A year before my mom died Surenna moved out. God I fucking miss her.
I looked up to her. And now I don't even know where she is. What happened to her when I needed her most..
