AIRPORTSTUCK

Deltastuck

I swear to God this is ironic

"Wowowowowowowowowow" you say.

You are not a COOL character like HARRY POTTER or JOHN CENA. You are regular JOHN EGBERT, God of the wind. Or sort of God. It's cooler to say you are a God. Someday you wish to be cool like STRIDER, who is so cool, his name is in CAPS CAPS CAPS.

You were consumed with WOWS due to the ATROCIOUS service at an airline known as DELTA. Man, JFK airport really SUCKS, huh? Anyways, your flight has been cancelled, and now your pockets are filled with FOOD TICKETS. Why they aren't in your sylladex, you don't know. Maybe Delta is so cheap that it can't afford teleportation?

You are sitting next to a man named ANDREW. He keeps rambling about SPIDER TROLL WOMEN and TOBERLONES. It is very annoying and you wish he'd stop. You'd leave, but that would be impolite. He finally falls over off the bench, and sinks through the ground. It's the best outcome for everyone here.

You decide to put your FOOD TICKETS to good use. There seems to be a BAGEL SHOP in the airport. The BAGEL SHOP is large and holey. There is nothing but bagels. The tables, the walls, the corners, the staff, everything is BAGELS. It's nice.

You sit down and instantly are BOMBARDED with BAGEL PARAPHERNALIA. Maybe this was a bad idea.

A waitress who looks strangely UNBAGEL-LIKE walks over to you.

"Oh, you are not a bagel," she says sadly.

"Not at all," you say slightly nervously.

"Disappointing," she says, frowning.

She flips her shoulder length reddish hair, which then gets caught on her WINDING ARIES HORNS, and walks away.

"Wait!" you shout, fumbling HANDS in your pockets. You are not used to using your HANDS of your POCKETS. You grasp a handful of FOOD TICKETS and shake your fist, like a religious man at the SKY. "I have FOOD TICKETS!"

She looks RAVENOUSLY towards you. "Food tickets?" She practically hisses.

"Yeah, FOOD TICKETS," you say, lifting your COPIOUS AMOUNTS of FOOD TICKETS.

"Food tickets?"

"Uh, yeah, those."

"Food tickets?!" She screeches, "Not enough! No, not enough tickets!"

Her wings unfurl sharply. They are very red, probably dyed that way with the BLOOD of children like YOU. You grab your HAMMER out of your SYLLADEX. Good thing that's the only thing in there. You then proceed to HAMMER AWAY at the impending BAGEL ARMY and terrifying DEMON BIRD WOMAN.

Oh Gog, there are BAGEL GUTS everywhere. The BAGEL RESIDUE is filling your SYLLADEX and getting everything all BAGELLY.

The woman cackles as she floats above the BAGELS.

"It is no use, cheapskate!" She says as she transforms into her GOD TIER outfit, "I am the MAID of BAGELS, and I will smite you!"

You SCREAM LOUD because you are stupid and also John Egbert. You throw your hammer like an absolute CHUM and it gets embedded in her BAGEL TIER robes.

The Maid gets caught up in detangling her robes, and buys you an ESCAPE CHANCE. It appears in your SYLLADEX and you USE IT. In your haste, you accidentally eject most of the BAGEL RESIDUE from your SYLLADEX.

Luckily, you escape the inevitable STRIFE for a bit longer. You had hoped to have a normal vacation, but obviously, as you are a GOD, that chance is null. No, not like the PROGRAMMING TERM. Just the word.

It seems as though the MAID of BAGEL cannot get out of the BAGEL SHOP. You hope to never see a BAGEL ever again.

You decide to walk to the bookstore. It's nice to see so many humans in one place. Humans. Plural. Regular not dead human individuals. No end of the world here. Nope. You decide to get a book. You pick up the first you notice. It is TROLL MAXIMUM RIDE.