Thoughts @ 1:00 AM

4.

Soyara's POV

A moist and cool Sunday night in the month of August, I was in my room sitting, typing out the assignment paper, with all the lights off, except for a tiny zero bulb, I checked the time in the laptop with my blurred eyes, it was 12:59 AM, I noticed after blinking twice or thrice, I wiped my eyes and went to the kitchen and got myself a cup of tea and came back to the room with the cup, I fooled myself to be comfortable near the window and sipped the tea.

*

"You certainly cannot empathize with someone with who you have got zero similarities." I thought, getting the tea in the cup a bit salty. 

No matter how strong, mentally, physically, emotionally you are... You will fall apart, you will break down and get shattered. And, I won't say all those stuff like- "you fall to get up and move ahead" or, "if life pulls you back, it's making you ready for a take-off" 

No, I'd not say all those things cuz, I am not satisfied with all those statements, what I feel is when life drags you down, it's making you show your real condition (auqaat), which is so miserable that you feel awful about your life and end up having an existential crisis. So, to live and rest in peace you need to change your condition (auqaat).

*

The ego is such a huge thing in a human's life that can either destroy everything or renovate everything. Take your miserability on your ego and see, how faster you'll grow. No matter how good you're in person, your ego will make you do anything and everything for its satisfaction. Use your ego as fuel in burning your energy.

*

AN HONEST REQUEST:

DO  NOT  SPOIL  YOUR  RELATIONS  WITH  SOMEONE  JUST  BECAUSE  OF  YOUR  EGO.  USE  YOUR  EGO  TO  PROVE  YOURSELF  RIGHT  AND  NOT  FOR  PROVING  SOMEONE  WRONG.  YOU  SHOULD  BE  CORRECT  IN  YOUR  GOD'S  EYES  DON'T  CARE  ABOUT  SOME  OTHER  "WELL-WISHERS". 

*

My phone rang, it showed "Raje Bhosle" and I picked it up.

No 'Hello!', no 'hey!', he just started, "why do you think so loudly, Soya?" he asked in half-sleep, yes he calls me 'Soya', "your voice didn't let me sleep," he said and yawned, "and, kindly think a little softly, girl, you think so loud, I can hear every single word you were thinking."

"Why didn't you call me earlier if you had so much problem with me thinking?" I asked.

"How come you're able to speak so much at this hour too?" he asked, "Soya, go and sleep, and let me sleep too."

"Okay."

"And, don't bother your empty brain by thinking so much," he mocked.

"You... I'll kill you," I said.

"I love you too," he said, "now, sleep, good night!"

*

Writer's Note

We all have bad days when we feel that the person in front of us is our enemy and doesn't wish good for us. If they are your family (family as in, the people you live with) they are certainly not your enemy and, if they are that auntie from the neighbourhood or your friend then they may or may not be your enemy. It's your decision to choose which outsider is your enemy and which is not.

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