The tour

Chapter 3

I woke up curled next to Camz. She was already awake staring at me and she ran her hand up and down my lower back.
"Do you want to talk about what happened yesterday?" She asked. I shook my head no.
"Ok, we don't have too." Camz said as I kissed her forehead.
"We forgot to write last night." I told her
"Write?"
"The songs."
"Oh. Well a lot happened last night." She said as I rested my chin on the top of her head.
"Yeah." I stated. Someone opened the curtain.
"We'll be in Miami in 4." Ally said than walked off. I sighed.
"Are you sure you don't want someone with you to talk to Chris?" Camz asked
"It's better if I do it alone." I whispered, "I should shower."
"Okay, you go shower." Camila said as she slipped out of my grasp. I got up and grabbed my bag. I went into the bathroom locking the door behind me and stared at myself in the mirror. I'm so ugly. How can she even stand being around me? I sighed and stripped. I made the water screeching hot and stepped inside. The water stung the scars on my thighs. Which didn't help me forget about them. I'm 2 months clean. No one knows I use to cut except Mani. I couldn't help but glance at the razor. A tear escaped my eye as I picked it up. I broke the razor into pieces and held the blade. I need someone to stop me. I need mani.
"Mani!" I yelled accidentally. I clamped my free hand on my mouth. A sob escaped.
"Lauren?" She asked trying the door handle.
"It's nothing. Sorry I couldn't find the shampoo." I lied.
"That's all?" She asked. I could hear her concern.
"Yeah." I replied. I heard her walk off. I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding in. I didn't realize I was clutching the blade in my hand. Blood ran down my wrist. I dropped the blade quickly and it was washed down the drain. I let the water run down my hand and down the drain.

CAMILA'S P.O.V
Lauren walked out of the bathroom quietly. Her eyes were puffy and bloodshot. She winced anytime she moved her left hand. I walked over to her. The girls were in the living area.
"Give me a hug." I whispered. She looked up at me with an confused expression but didn't question it. She pulled me into it. I could tell she was waiting for someone to show they care. "I love you."
"I love you too." She said. It sounded different than all the other times she would tell me. It sounded desperate.
"Your my everything." I said to her waiting for her response.
"Your my rock." She replied pushing her face into the crook of my neck. Her grip around my waist tightened pulling me farther into her. Her breathe hitting my neck. I kissed the spot just under her ear causing her to shutter.
"I'm going to go see the girls." She said as she walked off. Why did I do that? Ugh. After a few minutes of recollection I went into and sat next to Dinah.
"Hey Chancho." Dinah said giving me a noogie.
"My hair." I groaned swatting her hand away. I looked at the screen. Mulan was playing. I know how much Lauren loves this movie. I looked over at her. She was so immersed in it. I couldn't help but smile at the sight. Dinah nudged me. "What?"
"Your staring." She whispered
"I know." I said as I glared at her.
"You know it just makes it that much easier for her to find out if you keep doing things like this." She whispered leaning into my ear, "You should tell her." I shook my head no. I looked at Mani who was already looking at Dinah and I. She arched her eyebrow in question once we made eye contact. Not wanting to explain myself I just shrugged. "I'm going to try to get some sleep." I announced. Lauren's eyes shifted to me.
"Okay, Mila. Holler if you need anything." Ally said graciously. I walked over to my bunk and slipped in. It's worth a shot right? I yawned and faced the wall closing my eyes and falling into a deep slumber.
• • • •
"Hello?" I yelled. The room was pitch black besides one light hanging on the celling as it sat in the middle of the room. It swung back and forth. I took a deep breathe and smelled the moist Mildew. I awkwardly cringed at the decision. I saw Lauren. Than my mother. Than the girls. "What's going on?" I asked. My mother was the first to speak.
"Your a fag?" She asked while laughing.
"I-I-yeah?" I asked not knowing what to say. Than the light increased.
"You think you'll ever have a chance with me?" Lauren asked edging closer. I shook my head no quickly. I know what usually happens after this. The physical pain.
"Wake up." I heard a voice say, "Please wake up, Camz."
• • • •
"Camz? Camz wake up." The voice said. I shot up. Sweat clinging to me; tears running down my face. Sat beside me was Lauren. "Hey, what's wrong precious?" She asked. I started sobbing after that. If only she knew the fact I'd never get to be with her was the thing killing me. She pulled me into her.
"I want your bunk." I whispered
"Why?" Lauren asked curiously
"It makes me feel more at home." I whispered into her shirt. Next thing I know two strong arms are picking me up. "I know how to walk." I giggled. She sat in her bunk and shimmied in next to me. She checked her phone.
"We'll be home in an hour in a half. I don't want you alone at night. After my talk with Chris I'll be right over." She said to me wrapping her arms around my body. My back to her chest. Our bodies pushed as close as they can get.
"I'd like that." I said. Ally looked inside the bunk.
"Everything alright? I heard crying." She asked quietly.
"Yeah, just a bad dream. I'm better." I said shooting her a smile. Ally smiled and shut the curtain.
"Take a nap. I'll wake you up when we're in Miami." Lauren said sweetly. I took her offer and drifted asleep.