Finding Forgiveness

Chapter 4

I pull into the boardwalk at Venice Beach, and sit in my car for I don't even know how long. I people watch for awhile taking specific note to the couples that walk by, the small family with children walking by or the dad that is walking and holding the hand of his son and daughter. As I watch, I see a few dads pick up their child up and sit them on the side of the boardwalk facing the ocean as they talk, point and laugh with their child.

I close my eyes for a minute imagining myself doing the same thing with my child. I picture me alone with my child before picturing Steffy and me together with our child looking out into the ocean. I can clearly see how happy Steffy is and the enormous smile she has on her face. I see myself return the smile as I pull her closer to me. She leans her head on my shoulder as I look down at our child to ruffle their hair before placing a small kiss on their head and then doing the same thing to Steffy.

I open my eyes and find myself smiling at the picture in my head, and I already know I have that big goofy smile on my face. I feel relief and some general feeling of close to happiness. The first different feelings outside of anger, sadness and betrayal that I've felt since the moment I found the paternity papers. I get out of the car, and walk up to the boardwalk, dazily walking through the crowds, remembering the fun that Steffy and I had the first time she took me here, just days before I was to marry Hope.

"What are we doing now?" I ask in confusion looking down at Steffy's bike.

Steffy shoves her extra motorcycle helmet into me. "Come on..."

I give her a slight look of confusion. "Come on? You are taking me home right?" I ask already knowing that I'm not going home. "Safe at home?"

She ignores me instead instructs me to get on her bike. "You are getting on my bike," she says authoritatively while swinging her leg over to sit.

"We are just going to go.... okay fine," I say relenting after not getting an answer. I sigh in agreement before wrapping my arms around her as she speeds off.

Before I know it, we land at Venice Beach. "Wow, that was crazy," I admit as we are walking towards the pier. For the first time in days, I feel a sense of peace and relaxation, breathing in the ocean air, walking next to Steffy.

"You like that, huh?" she smiles at me.

"I knew you had a motorcycle, but I didn't think you could handle it like that. You risk taker."

"I just figured if I could ride there, I could ride anywhere..."

"That was...there are no word for whatever that was," I say shaking my head still in awe of Steffy and the motorcycle ride.

"Was that the first time on a motorcycle?"

"No, that's what I'm saying; it's never even entered my consciousness before."

She laughs at me. "Now, it's stuck there for good." And she's right it will be stuck there for good.

"No kidding," I smile. "Amazing."

"I love seeing you like this..."

"Oh yeah?"

"Energized and goofy," she smiles raising her hand. "Let me take a good long look at you...because you aren't going to be feeling like this much longer."

I roll my eyes before smiling at her. "That's relentless, thank you," I say as I can't help but smile.

"I just want you to realize and have fun," she says placing her hand on my jacket. Party, dance until you drop, roaring on the highways with the wind on your face. THAT is life. Liam, don't marry Hope, have fun and be free. You can't say you aren't a little tempted," she smirks.