Finding Forgiveness

Chapter 6

I pull into the cliff house, not to long after I leave Shaw's office. I sit in my car for what seem like hours just staring at the annulment papers that are on the seat next to me. I sigh in a mixture of sadness and exhaustion, before I unbuckle my seat belt and grab the folder, taking it with me as I exit the car.

I walk up slowly to the front door, knowing that this conversation is going to forever change both of our lives as well as the life of our baby. I roll the folder up and stick it in my back pocket, so my hands are free. I take one last deep breath as I grab the doorknob and push the door open.

"Liam," Steffy says with a small smile and relief in her voice as she gets up from the couch. "I'm so glad that you are home. I've been so worried."

I look at her, and my inwardly I'm shattered at her state. Steffy looks like a mess. Her eyes are red and puffy, her cheeks are tear stained, her hair is disheveled. I look her up and down quickly. She's wearing the same clothes from yesterday. I doubt she got any sleep last night.

"You needn't worry about me. You have enough on your mind I just needed time to think and process.

"I can't help it," she says walking slowly over to me, trying to gage my body language and mood. "Liam, I can't say it enough how sorry I am. If I could—could go back and do things differently, I would. I know how deeply I hurt you, and I will never forgive myself for what I did and what I am now putting you through."

Steffy exhales as she wipes her tears again. "I'm so sorry, Liam. I know it doesn't mean much, but I am. I am a horrible and disgusting person, truly. I hate myself for what I've done and set in motion. I betrayed you in the worst possible way. You trust me and I let you down. I let us down, and I let our child down. It's my fault. Everything is my fault, and I don't blame you for hating me."

I bite my lip before closing the gap slightly between us. I motion to her to sit on the couch. "Sit please," I say softly, while trying to help her sit down. She looks up at me with those gorgeous hazel eyes that are somewhat hiding behind her tears.

"First Steffy, have you eaten or drank anything in the last 24 hours? You don't look like you've been taking care of yourself." I run my thumb over the tear that's fallen onto her cheek.

She shakes her head no. "I can't."

"Steffy, regardless of what is going on, this is not just about you. You can't neglect taking care of yourself, because by doing that you are neglecting taking care of that little life that's inside of you."

She nods before looking down into her lap.

I pick her chin up so she's looking at me. "Second, no matter what happens, I could never hate you. You are a part of me, and always will be whether I want you to be or not. I was angry when I said those things to you yesterday."

"I'm still angry; I'm just able to manage it better now. I'm at least not seeing complete red."

"Liam, I'm sorry. Please, let me fix this. We have to think about our child and what is best for him or her. He or she needs both of us. Our sweet baby is innocent in all this. It does not deserve the consequences of the choice I made."

"I know," he nods. "We will always be the best parents we can be no matter what our relationship is. I'm glad that you are my child's mother."

"Oh Liam," she smiles. "Thank you for saying that." She sniffs.

"Listen, I've done a lot of thinking and I want to talk about where and how we move forward from here."