lanvin

Chapter 2 // feelings

Monday January 16th 2017
I spent most of the weekend overthinking what I had felt at our sleepover. It was like I couldn't control my mind anymore. I felt weird sensations every time I thought about him. As if my feelings suddenly changed?

I felt self conscious as I got up and packed my stuff for school. I almost tripped down the staircase as I walked downstairs. I made my way out the door after I had eaten breakfast and was on my way to school. I saw Kevin waiting for me on the sidewalk and froze as he glanced my way and smiled. I felt the same sensation run through my body. I felt tingly as I stepped out of my car and locked it. I almost tripped as I greeted him as my legs felt numb. He asked if I way okay with a slightly concerned look on his face and I replied with "yep! Better than ever" As I looked at him and awkwardly smiled. He looked at me and said "Okay then. Ready to go? We're gonna be late." as he softly smiled. Butterflies. Shit. We walked through the large door and a greeted a few people as we walked through the school hallways. We waved at each other as we both walked off to our separate classes. I made my way to my class and sat down in my seat as I started grabbing my books. I couldn't concentrate throughout class and felt my stomach ache to the thought of Kevin. I blankly stared out into a distance thinking about him as I felt a tap on my shoulder. My teacher stood next to me with a angered look and asked "Do you know the answer Lance?" I asked her to repeat the question as I felt my cheeks glow red. She angrily sighed in frustration but ended up repeating the question. Luckily I was able to answer quickly. I took a deep breath as I saw her walk away.

As I heard the bell of my last class ring I threw all my stuff into my bags and got up. I yawned as I walked through the hallways trying to spot Kevin. I started walking towards his locker figuring I'd find him there and saw him standing next to it. He smiled as he saw me walking towards him and waved softly. I felt more butterflies but tried to ignore them as they rushed through my body and swarmed in my stomach.

I got home later that day and immediately headed up to my room. I played some video games trying to get my mind off of things but trying to ignore my emotions made me think of him even more. I slowly ate a bowl of noodles as I felt tears running down my face. I blankly stared up at my ceiling and slowly sobbed into my pillow. Was I in love? No. Surely not right? We've been friends for over 11 years and I'd never felt anything like this. These feelings were just temporary. Right? I felt my stomach ache again. I closed me eyes in the hope to fall asleep and felt my phone ring. It was Kevin. He told me he felt something was off and asked if I had been feeling okay recently. I was silent for a bit thinking of an answer since I didn't want to lie to my bestfriend. "Hello?" He asked not knowing if I was listening. I shook back into reality and told him I wasn't sure if I was okay. He sounded concerned and asked if he could come over. I looked outside my window and saw it was dark, but still ended up agreeing to him coming over. I told him to meet me outside though since I didn't want to risk waking my parents this late at night.