An Idiot in Love Story

Chapter 2: Dumbstruck

Prompt: the classic JP Patronus dilemma.

What do you say to a girl the day after you hook up with her in a broom closet after you both fell under the influence of love potion and got magically exploded apart and kicked out of class for bizarre and inappropriate behavior while under the influence of said love potion in said class?

Yeah, I can't even pretend to be asking for a friend on this one, this is just…all me.

But I mean—we weren't totally love potioned when we hooked up. It was like the difference between being tipsy and being drunk, you know? In class, we were drunk. In the closet, we were tipsy.

And it's all still somewhat of a whirlwind in my head but I suppose I should confess that I got her off with some combination of my leg and my fingers (I can't be sure; I think I blacked out a little bit from sheer shock that I was giving Lily Evans an orgasm), and then she slid down the wall and put my cock in her mouth, and—I, uh…might have only taken, like…forty seconds?

Fuck, that's embarrassing. But I was edged for awhile, okay? You know this, you were there from the beginning of the semi situation.

I puff out my cheeks in a long exhale as Sirius pushes open the double doors to the Great Hall. His elbow catches me in the ribs. "Ready, Prongs? Reckon you got about"—he pretends to check his watch—"forty seconds until you see her."

My stomach flips over and I try to muzzle a groan. He's been doing this nonstop since I confessed last night about the closet. And when Sirius gets on a roll, nothing shuts him up. I can't complain, because he'll only do it more, but I also can't pretend like I don't notice because he knows me too well. He's got me in a right shit pickle, basically.

She's there; of course she's there. We're in the same house and have the same friends and sit in the same area of the Gryffindor table and have all the same bloody classes. She'll always be there.

And fucking hell, Marlene just smirked at me before scooting over to make room between herself and Peter. Across from Lily.

Remember how I said Lily's skin was usually somewhere on the spectrum of pink? Well just now, her cheeks are changing about three shades darker.

They totally know. This has to mean her friends totally know. Right? I chant a quick chorus of swear words in my head.

"Morning, gals," I say cheerily as I swing my legs over the bench next to Peter and reach for provisions as Sirius squeezes in next to me.

"We were just talking about the new Defense teacher," Marlene informs us. "We have that first period."

Peter leans over. "Heard she's brilliant from the sixth years who had her yesterday."

I nod and listen as the conversation continues on. I haven't yet thought much about this new Defense teacher—haven't thought about anything except Lily Evans in that closet, to be honest—

"Eh, Prongs?"

"Huh?"

Sirius teases, "You've been zoning out there for about"—oh no; he faux-checks his watch; Sirius, no—"forty seconds."

There's an odd spluttering, snorting sound, and I look up to see Lily coughing into a napkin, eyes streaming. "Sorry," she manages. "Orange juice—out my nose—"

We make eye contact for just a little too long, because Sirius jostles my shoulder and says, "Eat up, Jamesie, we've only got probably…forty seconds of breakfast left?"

I drop my face into my hands with a groan.

Marlene asks, "Okay, what are we missing here?"

Oh, shit. Maybe the girls don't know.