A Sacrifice of Names

Chapter 32

The scenery unfolding in front of my eyes was familiar, although I had difficulty placing it right away. Luscious fields of green, a gentle breeze licking my cheek. I lifted my arm to block the sun from my eyes, only to startle myself when realisation hit me.

I no longer felt pain.

I was dead. There was no other explanation for it, but even as I found myself thinking about it I could not push myself to feel sad about it.

"There you are."

I turned around abruptly, my mouth falling open slightly, but for a fleeting second, I could not push a sound past my lips, until...

"Gran..."

The smile on the old woman's face grew. "That is how I remember you."

I looked down at my body, welcomed by the sight of a ridiculous pink skirt I had owned when I was what, six? I raised my eyebrow. If I was dead, then why did I look like my six-year-old self?

"You're alive, Earie." And as if she could read my thoughts I watched the expression on my grandmother's face darken a little. "This was all I could do to take the pain from you, but time here won't last."

I could feel my head starting to spin. None of her words made any sense. If not dead, where was I? What was happening? I flinched when she laid a hand on my shoulder. I expected it to be cold, like a dead person's touch, but it was warm.

Warm like the sun.

"I never wanted this to happen." Her voice was coated with sorrow, the emotion travelling all the way up to her green eyes. My green eyes. As a child, I had never realised me and my mother had inherited them from her. At least there was no doubt we were related.

"You were never supposed to come here. They were never supposed to find you."

I tilted my head slightly, auburn curls bouncing over my shoulders. Curls. I could remember them from my childhood photos, but my hair had grown too heavy over the years for them to stay. My grandmother, Ailbhe, cupped my cheek gently, making me look up at her.

"It is my fault. I was too naive to think none of this could happen."

"You are dead." The words fell from my mouth before I could even think them over properly. Ailbhe laughed softly, but the laughter did not reach her eyes.

"I am. My body is, at least. I returned it to the soil, but that does not mean I am gone forever."

I blinked, Innogen had told me something similar. Something about borrowing life force from the things around them, although I couldn't recall what exactly. Everything felt like a blur, a dream I was slowly waking up from.

Only this was the dream, was it not?

"Then why are you here? Why do I look like I travelled back in time?"

"Because this is how I remember you," Ailbhe said quietly, slowly lowering her hand. I wanted to complain, the warmth of her hand actually felt really nice.

"So I am not in my own dream, but in your memory?" I asked, sounding as confused as I felt.

"Hm, it is difficult to explain. I am dead like you said, but my spirit has not yet completely faded. We share a connection. You, your mother and I. Perhaps one day I could even feel the presence of your own child."

My child? I wanted to laugh. I had never thought about children. Heck, I was still in school, had no clue where I would be in five years from now. Not to mention, you couldn't make a child without a partner- or well, it was possible with a little help from modern technology, but that was a road I'd happily avoid if I could.