dear diary, // minsung

twenty seven,

After Jisung slammed the front door of his home, his back hit the surface and he slid down, eventually hitting the floor. A choked sob made its way out of his mouth, and they wouldn't stop coming after that. Tears strolled down Jisung's cheeks at an alarming rate, and the aching in his heart only kept growing.

The feeling of betrayal had swirled throughout his chest, and it would spread rapidly to the rest of his body. It was a weird mix of tingling and pain, as if his body was overly sensitive after taking a big hit. The rise of nausea in his stomach happened all at once the minute he realized Minho's intentions and why he was there in the first place, and even though Jisung was smart and pinpointed the true meaning behind all of this, he still couldn't quite wrap his head around this.

How could he? There was an overwhelming amount of factors going into this; how Minho read his diary and did all these stupid things to figure out who he was. This was quite an odd story at hand and if Jisung was being frank, he had never heard of someone doing something like that. A person would normally return the diary to a lost and found, throw it out, or maybe even leave it alone altogether, but of course Lee Minho had tampered with things a little too much. He had stepped over loads of boundaries.

It had explained a lot about how much he knew. Minho brought up the word 'discombobulated' a little too frequently, and Jisung had only written it in his diary. He even said that he was Jisung's favorite hyung, because he had full knowledge of the feelings Jisung harbored for him. Looking back at it, it felt like the older was mocking him for it, and in that moment, Jisung felt like an absolute fool.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Jisung sobbed as he hit himself in the head with his palms. How could he have missed all the signs presented in front of him?

Jisung stood up from his fetal position on the floor with the diary in his hands and stormed up the stairs of his house. He just wanted to lay in his bed and sleep as much as he can, because he felt entirely drained.

As Jisung opened the door to his bedroom, he wiped his cheeks from leftover tears and threw the diary onto his desk, not even bothering to pick up the slight mess it made. The brunette poured himself into his bed, and drowned himself in the blankets, hoping to find some form of relief for the next few hours through sleep.

—-

School, for both Minho and Jisung, was pretty uncomfortable and an awkward experience to say the least. It consisted of Jisung avoiding Minho at all costs to prevent a breakdown by simple eye contact and Minho watched silently from the side, knowing damn well it's what was coming to him. He accepted the fact that he crossed a lot of boundaries and Jisung had every right to be upset, therefore he let the boy be. Even though Minho left Jisung alone, Jisung was holding onto his sanity by a mere string by being in the boy's presence.

To say the past few days felt like Jisung was being dragged through hell and back was an understatement.

After arriving home from his long day at school, Jisung mindlessly threw his backpack on his bedroom floor and flopped on the bed. He took off his glasses before running his hands all over his face in frustration. When was this everlasting pain going to subside?

Per usual, Jisung hid his feelings to himself as he didn't want to talk about it with anyone. Hyunjin, Seungmin, and even his parents had seen how his aura became so gloomy within a matter of a day, but Jisung wouldn't give a peep to what was truly bothering him. They all knew this was typical of Jisung, but it was extremely concerning to see his mood plummet so fast. Jisung wanted to open up but he couldn't find the words to even start. He was so embarrassed, how was he supposed to tell his friends or parents about the situation presenting itself in his life?

Jisung rubbed his eyes and stared at his ceiling through the blurry perspective of his eyes. How can I get these feelings out without burdening others of my inner thoughts?