"See you the way I do."

honesty

Warning ⚠️: talkS about r*pe and SA

Delia's pregnancy made a lot of emotions resurface, it was pretty hard for her, and also for you. During the first trimester she had many morning sickness, night sweats, and overall she was worried this would go on forever.
And whenever you tried to tell her that it was just for a couple weeks that she'd feel better she would lash out at you.
"Honey.. I know how horrible you just  feel but I promise it gets better"
"No you don't ! You have no idea what it's like !"
"oh really ? I'm trying to make you feel better and you yell ?"
"STOP PRETENDING YOU understand what it's like ! I've tried for years and now that I am I'm terribly sick"
"Oh I'M not the one that got you pregnant ! Don't try and blame this on me !"
"Oh so see you going to bring this up everytime we fight ?!"
"I wouldn't have to if you were less agressive ! You knew this wasn't going to be an eazy peezy type of pregnancy.  "
"SILL ! I'm not allowed to be in pain ?!"
"Yes you are but that doesn't give you the right to be shitty with me"
"I'm not being shitty !"
"Oh really ??! Last night you literally threw me off the bed"
"And I'm sorry I did but I was just mad and in pain !"
"And today you're telling me off for no reason !"
"I'm just pointing out that I'M the one who's carrying a child right now AND IT CAN BE PAINFUL NOT LIKE YOU WOULD KNOW"
" REALLY ?"
"YEAH REALLY "
"YOU THINK I DONT KNOW IT CAN BE PAINFUL ?"
"I'M JUST SAYING THAT YOU CAN'T REALLY KNOW LIKE I DO"
"AND YOU BELIEVE BECAUSE I'M NOT PREGNANT RIGHT NOW I DONT UNDERSTAND"
"It's something YOU CAN'T until you've been through pregnancy"
"THEN I CAN UNDERSTAND"
"what ?"
"I GET IT OKAY ? THE PAIN, THE SICKNESS, THE WORRY, THE HURT, EVERYTHING I GET IT ! But I also know that it's waking up with a purpose, and a life growing inside you"
" i..I'm confused"
"YOU have been yelling at me that i can't understand, but I do, I do understand."
"But how ?"
"You also need to understand that sometimes people have been pregnant even if they don't have kids today"
" I'm not sure I'm following you"
"I've been pregnant before"
"When ? With who's kid ?"
"That's not important. What Matters is that you need to stop assuming things you don't know about me"
"Why didn't you tell me ?"
"Because you're already stressed about our baby"
"..our.."
"Yes, you also need to start accepting the fact that I'm rasing this kid with you, as it is mine too"
The tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes finally did.
"...I'm so sorry I've been horrible with you...I'm just so worried that something bad will happen and I won't be able to stop it"
"Bad things happen, there is nothing you can do about it. Because life doesn't care about good or bad it just happens, and if something bad does happen we'll go through it together, and you and I will be okay"
"I'm not sure I'd survive it"
"You will"
"How do you know for sure"
"Because you survive it, it hurts, it brings you pain, but life keeps going, and eventually you are able to let go"
You pushed a strand of hair behind her ear as you got closer to her and went behind her back to circle your arms around her and cradle her small growing belly.
"It stops being painful after a while, it hurts, but it's not painful anymore, it's everything that could have been that lives within you"
"Why did I never know you've had kids ?"
"Because my pregnancies were a long time ago, and none of my kids are still with me today"
"Pregnancies ? Like multiple ?"
"Yes"
"What happened to them ?"
"Some didn't survive the trimesters, some died after I gave birth, and Alex had cancer at 7  "
"Oh god I'm so sorry"
"It's okay, he was in so much pain at the end i believe it's better that way"
"When did he die ?"
"Seven years ago"
"Hey we knew each other then ! Why did I never met him ?"
"Because he was already sick when we did, and he couldn't have visitors exept family and close friends"
"How old were you when you fist got pregnant ?"
"It doesn't matter Delia"
"..y/n"
"I'm serious just drop it"
"Y/n how old were you ?" She pulled away to turn around and face you.
" I'm not going to tell you so just please let it go"
"Y/N."
"Cordelia I'm serious"
"We need to be honest with each other if we're gonna rase a kid together no?"
"..10."
"what ?"
"I was ten"
"Haha very funny I'm serious how old ?"
"I just told you"
"Y/n stop joking come on"
"It's the truth, I had my first period at 9 and my firsr pregnancy at ten."
"That's not possible"
"It is"
"I don't believe it you were a child now be honest with me babe"
You took your wallet out and in one pokey behind another picture you pulled out an old photograph, of a child holding a baby in a small not well lit room on a one sided bed in front of a brick wall. The kid had bags under her eyes, and a scar on her cheek, but it was clear enough that she looked exactly like you, same hair, same eyes, just different expression, pure pain and sorrow was written over her face, her skin pale and her body weak she looked like an empty vessel with no soul.
"That's me, and that is Lila, my first daughter"
"What's that room y/n Where were you y/n"
"In The basement"
"Why did you give birth in your basement"
"Because this was my room Dee"
"Why ?" You chuckled at her question
"I didn't choose you know"
"Y/n how did you get pregnant at ten ?"
"I thought someone would've explained to you the birds and the bees"
"I'm not kidding. Y/n...what happened to you ?"
"My father"
"Oh god y/n..."
"I'm okay Dee"
She put her arms around your sides and pulled you in for a hug, her head lying on your chest and your arms around her.
"I swear I'm okay now baby"
You could feel her squeeze you harder and tears staining your shirt as her grip tighten and she sniffed.
"I..I'm..so sorry... I'm sorry for everything I said"
"And I'm sorry for yelling honey, please calm down...baby look at me"
You pulled away and kissed the tip of her nose before holding her face in both hands and soothing her skin with your thumbs.
"..i can't imagine..how horrible that must've been...I'm sorry I'm crying so much..i should be the one reassuring you"
"Hey..no..no..no..no you're allowed to cry baby..I'm here. And you are reassuring, your presence is more than enough."
"Okay... I love you y/n"
"Me too honey..me too, it's getting late we should head to bed"
"I don't wanna walk now..."
"Alright then"
Your hand found her body and you picked her up in your arms before going to your shared room, pushing the door open you sat her at her vanity so she could take care of her hair and take off her makeup before putting the robe you were pulling out of the drawers.
"There you go baby"
You kissed her head before getting in your own sleepwear and under the covers after brushing your teeth. You watched her as she did her routine, her golden locks cascading down her shoulders, her soft hands against her own skin looked ethereal and you couldn't help but notice her eyes finding you in the mirror.
"You know.. before Hank, I went out a couple times with this guy, Brian, he seemed nice and I was trying to find someone good for me and for the coven. One day I was at his place and we were watching a movie. Then suddenly I don't understand why but he started touching me, his hand between my legs and his mouth on my neck. I pushed him away, because...well because I didn't want him then. He got on top of me and told me he liked it even better when we fought. He started undressing me, playing with my body, kissing his way up my neck with my hands pinned on the sofa. I used magic to get him off of me and threw him across the wall. I took my things and left. I was such a mess it took me hours to find the way back home. I was crying and crying I thought I would die."
Your own eyes were getting watery while she stood up and went to bed. Her body slipping beneath you in look of your warmth. She pressed her skin against you and you held her.
"I felt terrible, dirty, stupid, used...and nothing really happened. I had a happy ending, some of us don't get that chance. Like you. I'm so sorry I can't imagine how awful it was. I already felt so bad when it happened to me It breaks my heart to imagine how you felt."
"You didn't have a happy ending...honey don't say that. Your pain is as valid as mine...there is no hierarchy, especially in this...and I'll have you know that it's my heart that breaks that someone tri...hurt you.. I swear I'd beat this fucker."
Her face found your neck and she breathed in your scent.
"Mm... I know... I would too..." She yawned and kissed your skin before her hand found your under the covers. the warmth Between you providing you a soothing cocoon.
"You must be tired babe, try to rest okay ? I promise everything is going to be okay"