jepic (dan howell x jedward)

jedwards gaff

the twins drove dan to their flat in a sketchy part of town which he had never been to before. the flat was suprisingly big and well decorated, it didnt look like the home of irish drug dealing twins. it looked classy? 'dan was it? im edward, my brother here is john' edward addressed dan, he had completely lost his accent and dropped all the slang. they must have seen the confusion on dans face as john chimed in 'we're not actually irish' he laughed 'we're actually from central london, but people dont take dealers with trust funds seriously so we put on an irish accent' it sort of made sense but dan was still confused - it was probably a symptom of the copious amount of alcohol he'd drank earlier in the night.

dan and the twins sat down on the grey sofa pushed up against the minimalistic walls. 'so dan, you in university?' john asked. 'uh yeah, i study law. i hate everyone in my classes though, none of them understand me. theyre all the same, insignificant, but im different.' he replied 'i guess im just better than everyone'. the twins smiled in agreement. 'rah wheres my baccy' edward said; he had found his people.

dan and the twins spoke for hours about anything and everything, bonding over some things i dont care about enough to write about.

edward poured them all glasses of water. 'take the molly with the water and wait for it to kick in' dan was instructed. he did as he was told and waited for the high, which hit almost as fast as the alcohol.

the ecstasy was a strange experience. because dan had never done any sort of drugs before, it hit him like a double decker bus. all at once, every single emotion he felt was intensified by 1000% and everything just felt... nice. the softness of the fluffy blanket he was sat on felt like it was made of the finest materials reserved usually for royalty; the pillow his back rested on felt as if it was made by the gods themselves designed especially for dans comfort; the mismatched christmas socks he wore enveloped his cold feet like a warm hug. dan felt absolutely amazing. how could he ever think drugs were bad?

john sat down next to dan. he plucked out a singular feather from one of the pillows strewn out on the sofa. 'here let me do this' john said, edward giggling in anticipation from what his brother was about to do. john leant in and stroked dans cheek with the feather sensually. dans member immediately became hard.

jedwards orbs glanced down at dans predicament. the sight of seeing dans throbbing member through his tight, black skinny jeans was enough to put both twins in the same situation. they were just three bros sat on a sofa, rolling on md with boners, nothing sus about that.

that was until dan made it sus.

he stood up and walked into the bedroom, gesturing for the twins to follow him. john and edward gave each other a look and spoke in twin telekenesis. after a minute, john stood up and explained to dan 'we're not going together, but we can go one at a time'

john followed dan into the room. it was only seconds before some noises which sounded almost like a pig being put in a blender came from behind the door. while the two were preoccupied, edward walked to his medicine cabinet, picked up a little blue pill, popped it in his mouth and swallowed. his manhood grew triple the size.

after a few minutes, a sweaty john emerged from the room and instructed edward to switch places. exhausted, john stumbled over to the cabinet which his brother had been in just prior. he picked up a little sealed box and took a white pill out, similar looking to the ones the three had taken earlier.

when dan and edward had finished together (and both finished), they came back into the living room. 'here dan, a present for you' john told the brunette. the sweat glistened on dans forehead and made him look like a drowned sphynx cat. still feeling reckless and dangerous from the extreme amount of mdma he took earlier, he obliged willingly.

suddenly, dan fell to the floor.

'fentanyl?' edward asked. 'of course' his brother replied 'serves him right for being a fucking virgin'

after dans puny, twink body had fallen lifeless, jedward looked at each other. they grabbed their chins and pulled off their realistic skin masks to reveal harry styles and louis tomlinson.

'finally, we got rid of him' harry said, looking proud of himself. 'yeah we really did ourselves prou-' louis was cut off by their apartment window breaking and their mahogany double door being blown off its hinges.

'armed police get down on the ground' a gruff voice explodes. a squad of uniformed officers burst into the luxurious flat, now covered in broken glass and a thick cloud of smoke.

harry and louis didnt respond to the officer's order in time, and were shot dead.