Delude Your Darlings (ManxMan)

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

Lucien Devereaux's POV:

The other night Sebastian told me that he loved me. It frightened me for a while, but I know that I love him too. Nonetheless, the everlasting and bothersome notion of him leaving me for someone much better than I feel like daggers piercing my heart. I wish that he would never let me go. I do not think that I would even function to my abilities if he left me alone.

I do not want to go back into that dark place that I was in before. Sebastian pulled me out of the ocean when I drowned in a deep abyss of despair and darkness. If he leaves me, I will surely drown again and suffocate until my damning demise. 

Ah, here I was lazily lounging on Sebastian's comfortable sofa ONCE AGAIN with my overwhelming thoughts. He believed that I should not exert any ounce of my strength on trivial tasks, as he puts it. But to be candid, I am becoming exhausted from this repetitive routine of just sleeping and eating.

I wiped a thin layer of sweat off my forehead as I grimaced in disgust at it. "Sebastian! I feel so cold but so hot at the same time." I wearily announced, tugging on the hemline of his designer suit. Ah, how I wish for him to shower me with his utmost attention and affection right now.

Sebastian swiftly glanced up at me from the corner of his chartreuse eyes while slowly closing his laptop and setting it down gently on the coffee table. "Mhm, do not worry too much. It is just your withdrawal symptoms, Darling." He replied, placing a kiss on my cheek.

I heavily panted like a thirsty dog on a hot summer's day as I let my head hit the feathery pillow. "Well, I do not like it one bit," I retorted, pouting as I kept readjusting the fluffy velvet blanket on my body. But I finally got irritated enough with it, and I did what any other sane individual would do, which was throwing it down on the ground instead.

Sebastian chuckled as he picked up the blanket from the floor and folded it. "You know, I am proud of you, Lucien. Coming out of addiction can be virtually impossible for some individuals. But I am so proud that you have the resilience to prevail." He told me, brushing my uncombed hair out of my forehead.

Sebastian has no idea that one tiny yet significant word means the world to me. Sebastian, proud of me? No one has ever been proud of me. I was always a good-for-nothing idiot who invariably destroyed everything that I touch. "N-No one ever said that to me before," I confessed as I hid my burning face in his solacing chest.

Sebastian flashed his pearly white smile, and I swear it could have dazed you in a trance. I would not even need substances to get high because all I would need is him. "Well, then you are hearing it from me now." He responded while softly rubbing my back.

"So, Lucien, I recall you told me that you do not like taking your medication because it makes you feel worse. In that case, do you want me to book you a therapist to speak with?" He inquired, gazing at me intently for an answer.

I let out a deep sigh as I shook my head. "Mm, not yet," I told him while shrugging my shoulders. This instance has now been the second time that he has asked me this. I mean, I did not get the whole concept of mindlessly letting out your deepest and darkest secrets as you expose your vulnerable self to a complete stranger. Just the bare notion of that made me queasy to the stomach.

Sebastian nodded while he maintained on rubbing my back. "Then what do you want to do instead, Darling?" He asked, with no indication of agitation in his voice. Oh, how I love him. I know that I can be difficult, but his patience with me is immaculate.