Patrick Hockstetter x (fem) Reader

03

A/n: Yoooo so I forgot to put this earlier but we're just gonna pretend the psychotic clown who feeds off the fear of mostly kids doesn't exist. Alr, alr. Also sorry if my grammar isn't all that good.

TW: Cussing and sucky grammar

Y/n's POV:

I broke the eye contact so I could apologize to Richie. I looked down to my shoes, then back up as I started to play with my variety of bracelets. I wanted to tell him but I'm scared he might not forgive me and just leave me. I stopped fidgeting with my brackets and grabbed his hands and looked him in the eye.

"Richie, I'm sooooo sorry for the way I acted, I overreacted. I shouldn't have done that, I don't know what came over me. I've never gone off on you like that and I don't wanna start now. I hope you can forgive me." I said practically pleading.
"Look Y/n, you're fine I honestly think your reaction was normal. I've seen and heard so much worse from people in the school after something like that happened. I forgive you, and you know what, I'm sorry. I've cheated on you so many times I can't even pinpoint the exact number. You're a fun person, and a cool girlfriend but I lost feelings for you a whileeeeee back and it's getting reallyyyy fucking annoying having to pretend to still have them."

I stood there speechless, tears welt up in my eyes. That's the second time in less than an hour, that's just great. I nodded and began looking at my shoes and playing with my bracelets once more before I looked back up at him.
"I understand Richie, I'm sorry if I made you feel you had to pretend to have feelings for me. I really didn't mean to. I'm sorry if you think I'm clingy or whatever it is. But since we're not going to get back together can you promise me something?"
"Sure. What is it though?" He answered.
"That we'll still be friends and won't let it get awkward anddddd since we'll still be friends I can still be friends with the others cuz I love them and I can't just stop being friends with them cuz of something that happens between us."
"Yea, of course"
"Thanks Richie. Also thanks for all the fun times"
"Yea no problem, I mean you'll still get to have fun times since we're only breaking up our relationship not out friendship"
I smiled and laughed. "Yea you're right but still"
I looked up from the floor only to be met with his eyes. We stayed like that for a little before I kissed him and told him I loved him.
"I'm sorry i just had to get it outta my system, anywayssssss you should probably go back before you run outta time"
"Yea good point. Come on"
"And how exactly do we get out of here?" He asked
"Oh yea, come here"
He came back over to me and put the blindfold over his eyes, I made sure he couldn't see before ruffling his hair and leading him to a normal hallway.
"Alright we're good"
I tapped his shoulder a little, signaling him to bend down slightly so I could take the blindfold off. I smiled once I was done, looking into his eyes, as did he. I patted his cheek and said
"Alright now let's go"
He agreed and started walking to the cafeteria before stopping noticing I was no longer beside him nor close behind. He turned back to face me
"You're not coming?"
"Nah I'll catch up. How bout if I don't show back up during lunch, I meet up with you guys after school and we can hang out then"
He nodded and continued his walk to the cafeteria, as he pushes open the door I begin to walk back to mine and the Bowers gangs "secret hideout". I began walking faster as I felt my smile slowly fade and tears begin forming in my eyes. Making sure nobody was around I made the few turns to get there. Finally, I made it.

I walk in and sit down, my back against the wall, knees up to my chest, my arms sitting on my knees holding my head. I begin to try and steady my breathing as it worsens. Closing my eyes in another attempt to stop myself from crying as it was the last thing I wanted to do. I sat there bawling my eyes out. I continually thought of how much disappointment could be heard in Patrick's voice, not to mention how mad he looked, and how annoyed Richie looked and sounded.

I laid down in another attempt to get rid of it but of course that didn't work. I kept feeling like I was being watched. Every time I would turn to see if someone was watching me. I'm not sure if anyone is watching me nonetheless I am feeling super uneasy. I try to ignore the feeling which surprisingly works. Over time I feel my breathing start to unstabilize. I still feel light headed and the walls of the room seem to be closing in. My hands are beginning to shake badly. Finally after around half an hour, I stopped crying. Thank God (sorry if you don't believe in God or you believe in someone or something like else). But now I have something else to worry about, I know why I'm starting to feel this way.

Fuckkkkkkkkkk, here it is. Another panic attack. How lovely. And I have nothing and nobody to help calm me, how peachy :)

Of course everyone's panic attacks are different but mine mostly consist of unstablilized breathing, shaky hands, slight temperature rise, crying, feeling dizzy, and feeling as though the walls are closing in on me.

I sit up, back against the wall (again ik), my head also leaning on the wall, knees also to my chest. I start to think of my day. I couldn't stop thinking of Richie and Patrick, Pat looked so disappointed, and Richie said it's "getting reallyyyy fucking annoying having to pretend to still have them".

How could I not think of that.

Thinking about both of the events causing me to cry but this time I was no longer in as much control as I was before. I began breathing uncontrollably because I feel as though the walls are closing in on me. I feel dizzy and like I have to throw up. I heard something fall. I looked around really quickly to see if I was hearing things. When if didn't see anything or anyone I fixed my gaze back to the ceiling, tears still falling and breathing shakily.

I heard footsteps from what sounded like inside the room. I looked down to see a tall figure walking towards me. I put my knees to my chest to hide my face in my arms as they sat atop of my knees. I close my eyes hard.

It felt as if someone had sat beside me, I then felt arms wrap around me. Whoever was there with me set their head on mine, I heard them begin to whisper things in a them or to comfort me such as

"Shhhhh it's ok"
"You're ok"
"It's all gonna be ok"
"You're gonna be fine"
"I'm here"
"You'll be ok"
"I saw what happened y/n/n"
"Hey cmon everything's gonna be alright"
"Cmon babes"

I sat their crying in their arms and leaning my head on their shoulder. A couple minutes pass and I feel whoever it was kiss my forehead and the top of my head, rubbing my back then my arms. Whoever it was really knew me, knew how to help calm me cuz of my panic attacks. I'm sure I know who it is. After a while I start to calm down and my I can tell my vision start to clear up. I no longer feel walls closing in, my hands stop shaking. My breathing goes back to normal. I feel my temperature go back down. I still feel dizzy it's just not as bad as it was before. I open my eyes to see wether or not my guess was right.