Harry Potter and the Protectors of Hogwarts

xv. of fighting memories

"I wish . . . I wish I were dead. . . ."

"And what use would that be to anyone?" said Dumbledore coldly. "If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."

Snape seemed to peer through a haze of pain, and Dumbledore's words appeared to take a long time to reach him. "What — what do you mean?"

"You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's son."

"He does not need protection. The Dark Lord has gone —"

"The Dark Lord will return, and Harry Potter will be in terrible danger when he does."

There was a long pause, and slowly Snape regained control of himself, mastered his own breathing. At last he said, "Very well. Very well. But never — never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it! I cannot bear . . . especially Potter's son . . . I want your word!"

"My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?"

Dumbledore sighed, looking down into Snape's ferocious, anguished face.

"If you insist . . ."

(Excerpt from DH- the Prince's Tale)

Harry drifted awake out of that dream, tears pooling in his eyes. He sat up in bed, refusing to let them fall, and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. He desperately wanted to believe that what he'd seen was just was a convoluted imagining of his own mind. But he knew deep down, he'd started to believe since these surreal dreams had started, that they were real. The events that had all taken place in the dreams, had actually taken place in real life at some point in the history of his parents and their year mates and their time at Hogwarts. Everything he'd witnessed between his parents, the marauders, and God, even Snape. He believed everything he'd dreamed about them was real. The details, the conversation, the words everyone had spoken; everything was clearly etched in his brain. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut as if doing so would force the images from his brain out through his ears.

He'd seen so many moments of his parent's life, and not all of them had been good. So many lies, so many secrets, so much which had been kept from him.

He looked at the time. It was only 3 o'clock in the morning. Too early yet for getting ready for his early morning run. Though the weather had turned too cold for running; after a discreet word with Killian and Moody they'd been allowed to use the treadmills early in the morning with Killian or Shacklebolt taking turns supervising. One or the other would always be waiting for them.

He knew sleep wasn't what appealed to him after that last dream, but he just couldn't take another revelation. Sighing he got out of bed, pulled out his Invisibility Cloak from his trunk and jammed his feet into his sneakers. Quietly, he made his way out of the dorms, through the Common Room, and gently closed the snoozing portrait of the Fat Lady behind him. He had no particular destination in mind and just walked wherever his feet led him. He tried to make sense of all the memories that came to him in his dreams.

His mum and Snape had been friends, from before Hogwarts apparently. Separated by first by their Houses they tried to keep their friendship alive, but things kept driving them apart. The house rivalries, so much damage had been done by just what houses they'd been placed in; the marauders who seemed determined to drive a wedge between that Slytherin and Gryffindor friendship, particularly James and Sirius; Snape's dogged pursuit of respect and power within his own house that eventually led him to use that dreaded word, the final insult that broke the friendship of two people who could have been together forever; Mudblood.