Weird and Wonderful

Chapter-15

Year - 2011

It was hard for Swasti to concentrate on studies. She cried at the drop of a hat. Her mother had taken a three-month leave from her office to take care of Swasti. The business suffered very much due to absence of Swasti’s mother, but her daughter’s well-being was above everything for her. Swasti’s father also became more involved with the family affairs for the sake of her. As a result, the fights between Swasti’s parents became less frequent and eventually they were rare.  There was peace at home but Swasti’s mind knew no peace. Her parents were a great support for her but still sometimes she suffered from haunting loneliness. Whenever she tried to busy herself with day-to-day activities, she felt as if she was betraying Rachit’s memories.

Whenever Swasti tried to quieten her mind’s conflicting thoughts, their intensity increased to such a level that it became impossible for Swasti to ignore their deafening noise. Then Swasti again started crying. But she could not cry when she was in school. So she excused to go to the washroom and would stay there until her panic attack calmed down. Now her classmates had started calling her a psycho and sometimes she just wanted to give up all her efforts but her parents were more important for her than her shallow classmates.
It would always remain a mystery for Swasti how she managed to get 87% in the Board examinations.

Sometimes life surprises you. No, she could not win Physics sir’s challenge as she had got 90 marks in Physics whereas Deepak had got 91 marks. If the situations were different, Swasti would definitely be very upset about how closely she had missed winning the challenge but she knew this defeat was nothing in comparison of the battle she had won against depression. The war was still going on and God knew when it would end!

Swasti did not take admission in an Engineering college although she could easily get into a private engineering college. Instead she chose a low profile degree college to pursue study of physics. Obviously she could not pursue her dream of going to Hogwarts! Perhaps this is what coming of age means- the age which is founded on the broken dreams of childhood. Gradually, Swasti’s panic attacks became less frequent. And though she was still ‘weird’ in the eyes of her batch mates at college, no one called her ‘psycho’.

Swasti was doing well at college. She was always among the toppers, so she had no difficulty in landing a job as a Physics lecturer in an Engineering college. But the thought of going away from her mother was scary for her. She was worried what would happen if the panic attacks returned. She didn’t want them in her life again. Those panic attacks had already taken everything for her. She was too scared to dream now. It was ironic that the dreams without which she could not imagine her life earlier had become the things that she feared most. She was living only for her parents’ sake as she had lost her will to live. Everything in the world had become meaningless to her.

Swasti had no friend who could support her. Kritika had once come to her home when JEE result was declared. Despite failing in the exam, she was not sad because Abhishek had got A.I.R. 543 in the examination.

“At least I have the honour of being an IITian’s girlfriend like you,” Kritika bit her lips as she said those words. She had always teased Swasti earlier about Rachit being an IITian.

“I am sorry,” Kritika said, “I forgot that Rachit is...dead.”

“No problem,” Swasti said.

After that day, Kritika never came to Swasti’s home although she occasionally messaged Swasti on festivals like Diwali and Holi. Ami joined an Engineering college at Greater Noida. The happening college life had completely changed Ami who hailed from a conservative family. Ami who had always worn salwar-kurta started dressing up like a fashionista. Here Facebook wall was full of pictures from parties and pubs. She had moved on in her life, not even bothering to look back for her best friend who was left behind.
The period of depression had taught Swasti that the only persons who truly cared about her were her parents. That was why she was scared to go to an unknown city of Ghaziabad without them. The world was ruthless where only the fittest could survive. And Swasti knew that she would never manage to survive without her parents. But how long could she continue like this? Her parents had already suffered a lot for her and she didn’t want to increase their problems by rejecting the job offer. So she started preparing to go to Ghaziabad.

Ghaziabad was completely different from Kanpur. It appeared that everyone was a part of race there. But the hectic schedule was convenient for Swasti as she didn’t have time to uncover the painful memories which were buried deep inside her heart. She overworked at the college so that she would not have to fight the battle of loneliness at her room. Everyone in the college assumed that she was too proud to talk to anyone but no one knew that the quiet teacher who was made fun of because of her simple dressing sense and her reserved nature was fighting a battle alone.
All was well until Swasti received a call from an unknown number when she was going to bed.

“Hello, who is this?” Swasti said.

“It’s me, Kritika,” the voice on the other side of the phone said.

“Kritika?” Swasti was perplexed. Why was Kritika calling her all of a sudden after four years?

“Swasti, listen. I will be coming Ghaziabad tomorrow,” Kritika said. Oh! So this was the case. Kritika had come to Ghaziabad and she needed a place to stay, that was why she called Swasti. Selfish girl! Swasti thought.
“Swasti! Are you there?”

“Yes, I am. So you want to stay at my place?” Swasti said.

“No, I will return to Kanpur tomorrow itself. I am coming to Ghaziabad because I want to talk to you about something which I can’t tell you on phone, or rather show you something.” Before Swasti could ask Kritika anything, she disconnected the phone.

Sleep was miles away from Swasti. What could be the thing which Kritika could not tell her on the phone? And how was the thing so important that Kritika who had not bothered about Swasti in the last four years was coming to Ghaziabad? The voice of Kritika gave her the feel of the movie- I know what you did last summer. But Swasti had no secrets, except one...