Weird and Wonderful

Chapter-18

Present Day

No! Swasti could not die. She could not die until she found out the answer of her questions. Swati's one foot was in air. If she had endured life for so long, why not wait for a few days more. She could then die with the satisfaction that at least she had tried to find out the truth. Swasti came back to the staff room. She was more relaxed now. She would finally know the truth and then she would die with peace as a child sleeps in its mother's lap. But first she had to complete step 1 of her plan.

As Swasti came home, she was surprised by the absurdity of her thoughts. How could a worthless girl like her uncover the truth about Saarthak Sharma. How dare she had such megalomaniac thoughts? It would not make a difference whether she died today or a few days later. So why did not she kill herself now so that she could save herself from endless misery of the coming days? She took out her favourite sky blue dupatta and balancing herself on the chair on which she was standing; Swasti tied the dupatta to the ceiling fan. So I'm ready to commit suicide- Swasti thought as she looked at the beautiful piece of sky hanging from the ceiling fan. But Swasti did not feel like dying that moment. It was as if there was an unfinished job left which she must complete before she died. Swasti was bothered by the attitude of her students who asked her out of context questions just to test her knowledge. What would be the future of Physics with such students? But why was she bothered about it? She was going to die anyway. She should be more concerned about saving herself from endless grief before thinking about the future of Physics. But why the hell was she thinking about Physics at the moment she should be doing suicide? Do people lose their sanity when faced with death? But she was insane all her life. At least everyone believed that she was weird. No! No! She wanted to die with her mind as a clean slate so that she could experience the process of dying at its purest. What she should do now? Should she call her mother? No, it would make things more complicated. TV! That was perfect! She should watch TV in her last hours.

Swasti switched on the television but nothing caught her interest. But when she saw that face on the television screen, her hands quickly reached the remote to change the channel.

She heard the host say, "Sir, please...it's your fans' request. Please sing a song for them."

'These fools have nothing else to do,' she mumbled, with her hands on the TV remote.

Like sand slipping through fingers

Your memories are fading away

I am lost in the dark forest of sorrows

Witnessing my feelings decay

Swasti clutched the remote. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead. It could not be happening...It is not possible. The song was still not over.

But I can't let my love die

However dark may be the life's sky

I'll always hold on to your memories

Forever, forever, forever

Swasti was perplexed. It was the same song listening to which Swasti's heart fluttered during her teenage years. Undoubtedly, it was the Memories. No, she would not let herself be destroyed again. She was grown-up now. She could control herself. She would live a perfectly normal life. But she was going to die. She had given up the chance of living. Hearing that song made Swasti remembered all the beautiful moments that life had blessed her with. It had reignited the will to live in Swasti's heart. But she could not change her mind now. She must die. Her life was ugly not beautiful. Just then her cell phone started ringing. Irritated, she threw her cell phone on the floor. She was pacing frantically across her room. Why he chose to sing Swasti's favourite song? Why did he...? Was he...? No, that was impossible. She was just making up things in her mind. Swasti tried to console herself but the things which were happening were not normal. She should do something about it. There is an old saying that when your fear starts killing you, confront it. So with trembling hands, she typed an E-mail to Saarthak Sharma. She would live to find out the truth. She could die peacefully after she got her answers.