Marauder Shorts

Spider

Set in 5th/6th year

Lily walked into the Marauders' dorm and looked around in confusion. The 4 boys (James, Sirius, Remus and Peter) were all looking around in a panic whilst balancing on chairs.

"Uh...Why are you guys all standing on chairs? Are you playing a game?" She said, stepping further in to the room. Remus turned around, his eyes scanning the space behind her. "Yeah, we're playing 'we saw a big fucking spider and don't know where it went'"

Lily squeaked and scrambled onto a spare chair. "What?! Where did you last see it?!" She cried. Sirius made a weird sound in his throat and squirmed in his own chair. Then, Peter spoke. "Well, it was-" he shrieked before he could finish his sentence, falling off his seat. The spider was on his face and it was huge.

"MERLIN'S BEARD!" Screamed James, falling off his seat also. He started backing away instantly, pushing backwards with his legs. He only got up once his back hit the wall and there was no where else to go.

He was not even pretending to be brave for Lily which made her positive that this was not a matter that would be resolved easily. She was still crouched on her chair, too scared to help. She was thinking of a way to escape when a spider flew past her face and then disappeared.

Peter had managed to get the spider off his face but in the process he had launched it across the room, making it disappear from sight once again. "Oh Merlin save us!" He cried. "It was on my face and it was terrifying!!"

Remus inhaled deeply, trying to not panic and think of a plan. Lily tried to copy him but found it impossible. "Hey! Why don't we evacuate?!" She cried, glancing helplessly around the room. She did not want to be here when the spider reappeared.

"We can't!" Sirius replied, snappily. "It will still be here when we get back and anyway, we are Gryffindors and Gryffindors aren't cowards!" It was the first time he had spoke and Lily was surprised the hear a slight shake in his voice.

Suddenly, another cry. "Holy shit its on my chair! Kill it!" It was Remus and, indeed, the spider was on his chair leg. As Lily looked, the boy launched himself off the chair and landed on the nearest bed. Peter's.

"Fuck! Get rid of it for heavens sake!" The boy cried, sitting up immediately. The others, however, moved away as quickly as possible from the chair.

"Are you crazy Moony?! I'm not getting near that thing!" James shouted, at the far end of the room now. "Well someone has to do something!" The boys started to argue, fear and panic in their voices. Lily wasn't one to judge though. He throat was too dry to even make any kind of sound.

"Who's the bravest?!" Peter cried, knowing that it wouldn't fall on him the kill the spider. "Sirius!" James and Remus cried at the same time. "What?! Prongs, since when do you call me the bravest?! And you Moony?! You never-" He got cut off by Remus. "Oh shut up Pads and kill it!" The black haired boy shook his head vigorously.

Lily thought for a moment then found her voice. "Sirius, if you kill it then Remus will kiss you." She offered. Remus, desperate for the spider to be gone, nodded. Sirius still shook his head but when Remus said, "Long and hard on the lips Pads! Just get rid of it god dammit!!" He reluctantly got down off the chair.

Slowly, he grabbed a bag to drop on top of the beast and a shoe to slap it. He then approached the chair.

The spider wasn't moving but that didn't make anyone feel any better. It was large and hairy and (over all)  terrifying. It's eight legs were as long as Peter's forearm and it had large pincers that glistened wickedly.

"Come on Pads," Remus kept saying under his breath over and over, sitting as still as he could. James, meanwhile, prayed, sitting on his bed now.

Sirius inched closer, very white, sweat glistening down his face. When he got to the chair, the spider moved. It quickly scampered up the chair leg and onto the seat but before it could get any further, Sirius threw the bag and squashed it. Two legs that weren't covered with the bag, twitched, then stopped moving altogether.

Gingerly, the boy picked up the bag. There were spider guts all over it and the spider itself was a gruesome sight. Sirius dropped the bag back on the corpse, not wanting to look.

"I think we'll have to throw both bag and chair away. Thank god I picked up a bag full of books and not a light one." The bag was, indeed, heavy, which was why the spider was dead.

"That's my bag, Sirius." Remus grumbled. "You owe me a new one." Sirius nodded once, backing away from the seat. "You might want to get your books, Moons. You know, before we throw it all away." Remus grimaced but got up.

When he was done everyone began their freak out session. "Holy-" "Oh my-" "Those pincers-" "Did you see those legs?!" "It was on my face!!" "Possibly the most gross thing I've ever seen-" Even Lily joined in.

After a few minutes they all calmed down, eyeing the chair with fear and disgust. Sirius was on his bed, panting but no wonder. He had, after all, been the one that had faced the spider.

"We all agree that Sirius is the bravest of us all now right?" Remus said looking at everyone in turn. Everyone agreed but Sirius didn't react. He was staring up at the ceiling, breath heavy. Then, "That, didn't happen," James said. "None of that. I think that Padfoot deserves a party of some kind but no one may mention why. That, didn't, happen." All in the room nodded solemnly.

After a solid minute, Sirius chuckled, his voice shaking slightly, white as a bed sheet, and said, "You owe me a kiss Moony. I saved you."

I visualise stories so this was not a pleasant story to write. If a spider like that came, fuck my house honour! I'd book it outta there and sail to China. Once again, I'm not checking for mistakes.