Never Have I Ever...Turned 16

Part 2

The next morning at school found Devi walking down the hallway with a bounce to her step.  Being emotionally healthy was great.  She was going to make grief processing her bitch.  For once in her life, she had a plan that Dr. Ryan would be proud of.  I've got this.
"Devi!" Devi turned toward the sound of her name being called and spotted Eleanor and Fabiola waving her over toward where they were standing by Fabiola's locker.  She smiled at their matching excited expressions and headed over toward them.
"What's up, squad?"
"We just realized, your birthday is coming up! Usually you start hinting about gifts you want months beforehand," Eleanor replied loudly. Fabiola nodded as Devi took a slightly panicked glance around them.  She really didn't want to blow the secret part of her secret plan before her first class had even started.
When she was satisfied that nobody around had heard them, she moved in closer and lowered her voice, "Actually, I was kinda hoping to keep it quiet this year. I don't really want to do a big thing. So maybe don't mention it to anyone?"
"You don't want to do anything for your birthday?" Fabiola asked incredulously.
"Yeah," said Devi with a shrug, "I'm just gonna hang out with my family, I'm not into the whole birthday fuss."
She gave them a smile that she hoped didn't come across as too weak.
Eleanor's brow was furrowed in confusion, "Devi, last year you tried to hire some actors to carry you around on a throne like an Egyptian pharoah."
Devi grimaced and glanced down, "Well, last year was different, I ..."
She trailed off and sighed. Maybe she should just be honest. Neither Fabiola nor Eleanor was going to buy the story that she was just a shy, birthday-hating hermit. But it was a little tough, she felt like she could tell them almost anything, but she hated looking weak, even to her best friends. She had never even told them she was going to therapy.
Devi took another deep breath and tried to bolster her courage, "Look, honestly this is the first birthday since my dad died, and I'm kinda having a hard time with it."
Both of her friends looked stricken, and Devi felt an instant pang of regret.  The last thing she wanted was pity.
They both began speaking at once.
"Oh my god, Devi. I'm so sorry. I didn't even think-"
"We're the worst friends ever, we should have known-"
"Guys! Guys!" Devi interrupted, holding both hands up to stop their apologies, "It's fine, really. But I kind of just want to spend this birthday alone. I have some things that I need to take care of."
"What kind of things?" Fabiola asked.
"Just some things that are important to me," said Devi. She wasn't sure if she would be able to go into the details without starting to cry. And there was no way she going to allow that to happen. She continued, "But I have to take care of them alone, okay? Can we please just leave it at that?"
Fabiola and Eleanor exchanged a glance before both of them nodded at Devi.
"So you're not going to tell anyone about your birthday? Not even Paxton?" Eleanor asked.
"No," Devi answered firmly, "Paxton's an amazing boyfriend, so if I told him he'd probably want to be there for me or some shit. But that's not what I want. I just need a break from being Crazy Devi. So keep it zipped please, it's the best birthday present you guys could give me this year."
Fabiola started to open her mouth to respond when they were interrupted by a loud, "Hey bishes! What are you guys talking about?"
Aneesa had bounded up to them, towing Ben behind her by the hand. His shoulders were slouched and his eyes trained on the ground.
"Giraffes," Devi blurted out the first thing that came to mind.  She darted a glance at Eleanor and Fabiola.
"Er, yeah. They can sleep standing up," Fabiola piped in.
"Um, okay." Aneesa replied, looking a little confused, "That's pretty random. So what are you guys doing this weekend?"
Both  El and Fab looked over at her expectantly, which probably seemed pretty weird to Aneesa.  Devi gave an inward sigh at her friends ability to just be cool and said, "I've got plans with the family. Sort of a full day thing."
"Oh, well, what about you guys?" Aneesa asked, turning toward Fabiola and Eleanor. "We just ran into Marcus and he said there's gonna be a party at Trent's Saturday night. Maybe you could come after your family thing, Devi?"
"Uh, it's sort of an full day, full night thing, so I don't think so. But El! Fab! You guys should definitely go." Devi said the last part with a bit more emphasis and a pointed look.
"Um, sure, I guess we could go," Eleanor said slowly, "If that's what you really want Devi."
"It is," Devi stated firmly. "Go to the party."
Aneesa darted a nonplused look between Eleanor and Devi, but before she could say anything, Ben chimed in.
"What's your family thing?" His voice was low and had a slightly challenging tone.
Devi braced herself and looked toward Ben, to find him him giving her the same hard, intense look that he had been giving her the past couple weeks, that is, when he wasn't avoiding her gaze entirely.
He had come to her house, one week after winter break started.  Devi had been confused when Pati had come to her bedroom and told her a boy was here to see her.  It was around 8 o'clock at night, and she knew Paxton was at Trent's.  He had just been texting her to let her know he was going to be leaving in about an hour to head over and climb in through her window. What other boy would possibly be here to see her?
She must have looked visibly surprised when she opened the door to see Ben, because before she could say anything, he quickly said, "I know it's kinda weird that I'm here but, could I talk to you for a minute?"
"Um," she had hesitated. It was fine to talk to Ben around school when he was with Aneesa, but talking to him at night all alone outside her house was a different story.  Devi did not even want to approach a grey area when it came to this kind of thing, not after her whole two timing debacle had blown up in her face. "What do you want to talk about?"
Ben had sighed, "Can you please just come outside Devi? Please?"
It was the second "please" that had weakened her resolve.  She had done some pretty messed up shit to him, the least she could do was talk to him for a few minutes.  Hopefully he just wanted to talk about something innocuous like schoolwork or exchanging model UN for Chinese club.
"Alright," she had stepped outside and closed the door behind her, moving down the steps of her porch and down onto the front walkway. Ben followed after her. Hopefully her eavesdropping Pati wouldn't be able to hear them this far down the walkway.  Luckily Devi's mother was out late for some kind of dermatology event.
"So," Devi had begun, turning toward Ben and adopting a light tone that she hoped would lead to a light, innocent conversation, "What's up, Gross?"
He had stared at her intently for a moment, before saying, "Eleanor told me at the dance that you wanted to choose me, not Paxton, at first, but she and Fabiola talked you out of it. She also told me that you were jealous of Aneesa at the relay and wanted me back. So I wanted to know...I wanted to know if it was true."
There was a moment of shocked silence, before Devi had whispered, "What are you trying to do Ben?"
He had glared at her. "I'm not trying to do anything!"
"Really?" she had scoffed. "Because you're at my house, at night, trying to ask me pointless questions that don't matter."
"It isn't pointless!" Ben had fired back. "And it does matter!"
He took a step toward her and Devi quickly took a step back.
"No it doesn't," she whispered back furiously. "You're with Aneesa and I'm with Paxton.  You can't be with Aneesa and come over at night to ask me a question like that."
"Why not? You dated me and Paxton at the same time.  Isn't it the same thing?"
Devi sighed, some of her fight leaving her. "Yeah I did. And I'm sorry," she had said in a slightly softer tone. "So I can tell you from first hand experience that it's a shitty thing to do and it will make you feel really shitty if you hurt Aneesa like that. You gotta pick a lane, Gross."
She had started to walk past him back toward the house. As she had passed him, Ben's hand had reached out and grabbed hers.
"What if I want to pick your lane?" He had asked quietly. He had stared at their clasped hands for a moment before slowly traveling up to meet her eyes.
"What?! No!" Devi had snapped, yanking her hand out of his and whirling around to face him squarely. "I didn't mean- I meant you should stay in Aneesa's lane, the lane you're in right now! My lane is closed. It's blocked off with traffic cones and caution tape! What the hell are you even talking about? I thought you liked Aneesa!"
"I do! I did, at least I thought so, but," Ben had groaned and rubbed a hand over his face. "But she's just not you."
"Stop."
"I hate seeing you with him Devi. I mean I know you must have been doing things with him before but actually seeing it-"
"I said stop."
"-kissing him, touching him, it's driving me fucking crazy. I -"
"Ben!" Devi had shot her hand out and clapped it over his mouth, desperate to make him stop talking.  This conversation was going a thousand times worse than she could ever have expected. She had wanted to avoid a grey zone, to be worthy of Paxton's trust and yet here she was, right in the middle of another messy situation. So she had said what she should have just said in the first place.
"I don't know why Eleanor told you that. It's not true. I wanted to choose Paxton. And I want him now.  He's my boyfriend, and I don't want to fuck that up."
She had stated this as firmly as possible, looking directly into his eyes the whole time. Then she had lowered her hand from his mouth.
"You're lying," Ben had accused, "Devi, just listen to me, I'm trying to tell you that I -"
"Ben!" Devi had not even been close to whispering at that point, "I am not going to be with you if you break up with Aneesa for me. She's my friend and I'm not going to do that to her.  I've already done enough, I'm not going to do that.  And I'm not going to break Paxton's trust like that. Not again."
Devi had lowered her voice and continued, "So stop, and please don't say anything else.  Go find Aneesa and be happy. You have a super hot super chill girlfriend who cares about you and would never hurt you the way I did."
She had turned and practically ran back to her house, up onto the porch, and through the front door, bursting in so suddenly that she had knocked down Pati, who, sure enough, had been standing with her ear pressed to the door the entire time.  After helping up her grandmother and making sure she was alright, Devi had turned and locked the door for good measure.

Ever since that day Ben hadn't spoken a word to her, usually just glowering sullenly or staring at her intensely when he didn't think she was looking.  But he was speaking to her now, asking her what her family plans for Saturday were.

"Camping." After the word popped out of its own volition, Devi's smile stretched into a genuine grin.  That was a pretty plausible on the spot lie. Definitely way better than giraffes. "Yes, we're camping."
"Your family is going camping?" Ben asked, the skepticism in his tone clear.
"Yes, Gross. Indians like camping to. Don't be racist," She shot back.
"Where?" He shot back just as quickly.
"Why do you need to know? Are you writing a book?" She snapped. "Besides, I don't know where. My mom plans that stuff."
Ben looked like he was about to say something else and Aneesa was staring at him, clearly taken aback by his animosity.
Devi was saved from further interrogation when she was scooped up by her waist and gently pressed against the nearest locker. Paxton grinned at her before bringing his mouth down on hers.  And like any other time she kissed Paxton, Devi felt like she was melting. His hands drifted up from her waist into her hair as he clutched her closer and pressed his body into hers.  His tongue slipped between her lips and tangled with hers.  This was more PDA than they usually engaged in in front of others, but Paxton didn't seem like he was slowing down anytime soon. Devi was surprised that she actually had to be the one who pulled her head back and pushed Paxton slightly off of her. He leaned his forehead against hers and whispered, "I missed you last night."
"Uh yeah," Devi laughed. "I can tell."
Paxton smiled at her and pushed a lock of her hair behind her ear.  Then he grabbed her hand and pulled her back into the group that was comprised of Eleanor, Fabiola, Aneesa, Ben, and now Trent. He slipped an arm around the back of her waist.
"Geez, guys, get a room!" Aneesa called out playfully.  Devi thought that was a bit rich, coming from Miss Tickle Fight, but she held her tongue.  Huh, she reflected, maybe I am becoming a better person after all.
She did her best to ignore Ben clenching his fists as he stood beside Aneesa.
"So Trent's having a party Saturday," said Paxton, "We should go."
"Yeah, Aneesa mentioned it. I can't though.  I'm going camping with my family."
"Your family is going camping?" Paxton asked incredulously.
"Yes!" Devi snapped.  "Why is that so hard to believe? The Vishwakumars are avid campers! We love tents, and fresh air, and, and,"
"S'mores?" Fabiola supplied.
"Yes! And s'mores!" Devi finished and gave a firm nod to emphasize the fact that she was telling the truth and not spouting utter bullshit.
Paxton gave her a quizzical look, before saying, "Alright, I'm sorry I doubted your camping skills. But that blows that you won't be there with me, the party won't be any fun without you."
"Hey man," Trent piped up, "That kind of hurts my feelings."
"No offense bro," Paxton replied easily before turning back toward Devi and smiling teasingly at her.  "Maybe if you told your mom about us, I could go camping with you guys."
Devi snorted, "Yeah, if you want to become a dead body in the woods."
"I don't know, it might be worth the risk if I could spend a full night with you in a tent." Paxton raised his brows suggestively and Devi blushed.
She tried not to feel guilty about lying to him, but the feeling still wriggled it's way in. But what was she supposed to do? He wasn't ready for the full Crazy Devi on emotional overload, trying to intentionally tackle her grief for the first time in her life.  And it would be for his benefit as well, anyway.  If Devi could just work through her shit, she could be a normal girlfriend, a normal friend, a normal daughter, and stop dragging everyone around her down into her mess.
The warning bell for first period rang and the group started to move toward Facing History.
As Devi sat in her seat, she steeled herself to take the first step in enacting her plan and raised her hand.
"Yes, Devi?" Mr. Shapiro asked.
"Mr. Shapiro, would it be okay if I was excused for the second half of class? The newspaper committee is meeting."
Paxton glanced at her curiously from his seat next to her and Ben turned around and glared suspiciously at her.
"Yes that's fine," Mr. Shapiro waved a hand. "Just make sure to read chapters 13 and 14 from your textbook so you're caught up."
He didn't even ask for an excuse note. Devi smirked triumphantly, sometimes it pays to be a teacher's pet.
She needed to get a couple things done at school if she was going to be ready for her birthday on Saturday, and it would be difficult to get them done during passing period or lunch, since Paxton was such a fricking gentleman that he walked her everywhere. But with the extra time now and after her Chinese club after school, she thought she could get done what she needed.

Her hand drifted back and grazed the side pocket of her backpack, inside of which she had stored her birthday list.
I've got this.