Never Have I Ever...Turned 16

Part 3

It was Friday night and everything was ready for tomorrow.  But was Devi?  She had to admit she was a bit nervous, but she reminded herself that under her drama and messiness, she was still at the top of her grade, she was smart, and she had everything planned out.  Now all she had to do was go through with it.  Do everything on the list without reservations, and to embrace the fact deep down all she was was a girl who missed her dad.  Then she could get better, be better.
She was laying on the bed, reading her history book (and often rereading it, since she was distracted and kept feeling like she would read a paragraph and remember nothing) and making flash cards.  She looked up at the knock on her window and smiled to see Paxton climbing through.
"Hey," he greeted with a smile.
"Hey yourself," Devi replied as she smiled back, gathering up  her book and flashcards and going to drop them on her nightstand.  Then she turned toward Paxton and stepped into his arms as he opened them, tilting her head up and wrapping her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer and his lips met hers. They kissed like this for awhile, until Paxton pulled slightly back and kissed her cheeks and forehead. "Are you excited for tomorrow?" He murmured.
"What?" Devi asked, snapping out of the kissing daze, "Why would you ask me that? What do you know?"
Paxton's brow furrowed in confusion, "Your camping trip.  I thought you'd be excited. You said you love camping."
"Oh," Devi said in a small voice, realizing how suspicious she was being. "Oh yeah, that.  Yeah I'm super excited."
Instead of moving on like Devi had hoped he would, Paxton narrowed his eyes slightly and stepped back from her, dropping his arms and glancing around her room.
"I thought you said you guys were leaving really early.  You don't have your stuff packed yet?"
"Uh, yes. I do, it's just, um, downstairs."
His eyes narrowed even more. "Why are you lying to me, Devi?" He asked in a low, anger-tinged voice.
"I-" Devi began, then stopped.  This wasn't going well.  She was probably just better off telling him the truth, then trying to get away with her lie.  Besides she hated lying to him, it felt too similar to when she had been cheating on him.  Okay, she could do this.  She could keep her shit together and also explain herself to Paxton.
"Okay, I'm not going camping," she admitted slowly.  Paxton raised his eyebrows and she continued. "But I will be out of touch tomorrow, and I do have a lot of things to do because...it's my birthday."
"What?" Paxton yelped, clearly surprised.  Yelping from him was rare.  He had obviously not expected her to say that.  She inwardly winced at the thought of what he had expected her to say.
"Why didn't you say anything, Lil D?" Paxton asked, still looking taken aback and a little panicked. He began pacing back and forth.  "You should have told me! I need more time to prepare. You know I've never had a girlfriend before, I have to figure what we should do, what to get you..." He whirled toward her, "Shit! Am I supposed to get you a cake? What kind of cake do you like?"
"Paxton, wait," Devi stepped forward and leaned up to give him a quick kiss.  "You don't need to do anything or get me anything.  I'm spending my birthday alone.  Well, I do have to go to a dinner with my family, but the rest of it, I have some things I need to do, alone."
She put slightly more emphasis on the last word.
"Why would you want to be alone? What do you need to do?" He asked, sounding confused.
"Well," Devi took a step back out of Paxton's arms and wrapped her own around herself. "You know I was close with my dad, right? This is my first birthday without him. We had made plans together, a list, for my 16th birthday, and I want do the stuff we planned."
"Okay," Paxton said slowly, nodding his head, "But why do you have to do that stuff alone? I can go with you."
"Because I need to," Devi insisted, "It's....it's hard to explain...but I just have to do this on my own."
"Devi," Paxton said, stepping forward slowly. "I don't know if I like the idea of you being by yourself, doing things you planned to do with your dad. What if it's too much for you?"
"What do you mean, too much for me?" Devi snapped.
"Nothing!" Paxton answered hurriedly, moving his arms away from his body in a placating gesture. "Just that, you know, I know how you get sometimes."
"Oh yeah? Why don't you tell me how I get sometimes, Paxton," Devi shot back angrily.
"Devi," Paxton said, his voice low and soothing.  He took another cautious step forward.  "I know what you're trying to do."
The combination of Paxton's soothing voice and slow approach reminded Devi of someone approaching a wild animal.  It pissed her off.
"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think, Paxton. After all, I was able to get away with cheating on you for awhile.  Maybe I'm not just the dorky Indian girl that's pathetically obsessed with you and that you've decided to lower yourself to date because I amuse you.  Maybe you don't know me at all." Devi felt the words spill out of her, each one nastier than the last.  She wouldn't blame Paxton if he turned around, climbed out her window, and never spoke to her again.  Then at least things would be as they should be. At least she wouldn't lose him later, when it would hurt more.
Paxton didn't even flinch.  And he didn't even hesitate to take another step forward, continuing on as if she hadn't just lobbed a verbal grenade at him.
"You're trying to get us into a fight, to make me mad at you so I leave and don't try to be there for you tomorrow," he said.  "Well guess what, Devi. I'm not that easy to get rid of."
"You were before," Devi muttered, most of her ire deflating in the face of being called out on her bullshit. 
"Yeah, maybe before I was," Paxton agreed with a shrug.  "Before I admitted to myself that I can't stay away from you. I've tried, and I can't do it, I don't want to do it. And I know you've been through a lot, and I'm not even going to pretend that I can understand what it was like to go through all that. But I- I want you, I want to be with you. So I'm not going to walk away when I know the only reason you're pushing me away is because you're scared."
Devi's anger disappeared completely in the face of Paxton's vulnerable words. She groaned and covered her face with her hands.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said any of that," Devi said, dropping her hands down by her sides. "And you're right, but don't you see that this is exactly why I need to be alone tomorrow? I'm going to be a mess, and I don't want to take that out on you or anyone else I care about. If I'm by myself, the worst I can do is yell at some randos. Also....I think it might help me work out some stuff, so I don't do shit like yell at my super amazing boyfriend."
Paxton snorted and rolled his eyes, then said, "I just told you that I'm not going to be that easy to get rid of, if you lose it, it's cool, I can handle it."
"Okay but you shouldn't have to. It's not fair, Devi stated firmly. "Plus, I don't know if you being there is going to help me...process...things the way I need to. I mean, I love having you with me, and I trust you, but it's hard for me to show anyone, even you, even myself, what I'm really feeling. Maybe if I can just be honest and feel what I feel tomorrow, it will actually help me process the fact that...that my dad is dead, and he's never coming back."
Devi sighed and continued in a quieter voice, "And I'm sorry, but I just don't think you being there is going to help."
Paxton stared at her hard for a moment. Finally he sighed and said, "I still don't like it Devi, but like I said, I can't really understand how you must feel about your dad.  So, if this is really what you think you need..."
"It is!" Devi interrupted, relief flooding through her. "I need this, Paxton. I have to try, I mean, I've been in therapy for close to a year now and Dr. Ryan is awesome, but I still keep messing things up.  And I've tried writing in this stupid grief journal" Devi snatched said journal up from the nightstand behind her "And the only thing I've managed to write in it is-"
She opened the journal, saw the large print declaring I'M GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH PAXTON HALL-YOSHIDA!! and snapped it shut, throwing the journal away from her like it was on fire.
"Uh, n-nothing, nothing important," she stuttered, avoiding Paxton's quizzical look.
"The point is," Devi said loudly, shifting slightly to her right to direct Paxton's attention away from the journal laying on the other side of the room. "I need to do this."
Paxton pressed his lips together and let out a breath through his nose. "Fine," he clipped out with a little shrug, "But I wish you would at least let me give you a present," he grumbled.
Devi smiled, happy both that Paxton had agreed to her plan and that the conversation had taken a lighter turn.
"Well," she began, letting her eyes drift down and then back up his body. He, as usual, looked unbelievably hot in a grey tshirt, flannel, and jeans. The giant words in her journal (had she really written them that big?) were currently imprinted in her mind's eye. Wait, why hadn't they had sex yet? They had been together about a month now and had done nothing more than some intense making out. She knew Paxton had been around the block, she had heard enough around school.  And he had been willing to have sex with her, no strings attached, before he even knew her.  Now he was guarding his virtue like a fricking nun? What the hell? Devi currently had a lot going on, with her birthday tomorrow, but she made a quick mental note to obsess about this later.
"You could gift me with your body," she continued, raising her eyebrows and adopting an innocent expression.
Paxton huffed out a laugh and said, "As much as I would love that, Devi, I don't think we're ready for that."
"Hmm," was Devi's reply, she was definitely going to obsess over this later. But she didn't want to ruin the night by getting mad again.
"Fine then," Devi said, "Then maybe just the gift of distraction? It's really hard to think when you're kissing me. And when we're in the bed, and you're on top of me, or I'm on top of you, either one gets a high grade from me."
She approached him slowly, biting her bottom lip slightly. She knew he loved it when she did that. Sure enough, he shifted from side to side and his gaze drifted down to her mouth.
"Yeah," Paxton croaked, then he coughed and continued in steadier voice, "I think I could give you a little distraction."
Devi grinned and reached out to grab ahold of his tshirt, using it to pull him forward. Paxton stumbled a step before his lips crashed down on hers. They toppled back onto the bed.
A few hours later...
"Paxton!" Devi hissed, shaking him awake, "Wake up, you have to go!"
"Wha-huh?" Paxton murmured sleepily before grumbling and turning over to bury his face deeper into Devi's pillow.
Devi gave a sigh of frustration and shook him again, "Paxton, you need to go! It's almost midnight!"
"Who am I, Cinderella?" Paxton asked, his voice muffled by the pillow.
"You have to go before midnight! I have a plan and-"
"Alright, alright, I'm going," Paxton groaning, rolling over and sitting on the edge of the bed.
Devi jumped up and gathered Paxton's flannel, tshirt, and shoes from the floor as quickly as she could, shoving them into his arms without ceremony.
"C'mon! Let's go! Get dressed!"
Paxton sighed and pulled his shirts on before pulling on his shoes. He walked to the window with Devi close behind, and while she wasn't exactly pushing him, she was definitely ushering him toward it. He gave a another sigh and turned around for one last kiss as he reached the window.
"Call me, text me, whatever, if you need me tomorrow, okay?" He said as he pulled back, making sure to catch her eyes.
Devi nodded quickly, "Alright, I probably won't be checking my phone much tomorrow, but I'll let you know if I need you."
Paxton nodded and turned back toward the window before climbing out of it.
Devi shut the window behind him and turned back to her bed. She could only sleep for about four more hours if she was going to get everything she had planned done tomorrow. So she checked her alarms, then dove back into the sheets that smelled like Paxton, closing her eyes and willing herself to fall asleep as quickly as possible. Tomorrow she would wake up as a 16 year old.