Patience’s POV
Deep Breaths. In and out. I could hear my heart beat flooding my ears, keeping a steady rhythm. Today’s the day. I thought to myself. I hummed lightly to myself as I waited for my plane to be called. I squirmed nervously in my seat as I heard the announcers voice over the speakers.
“Plane number 8 to London is now boarding.”
I jumped up, grabbing all my luggage and sprinting to my gate. I wanted to be one of the first on the plane. I handed the man my ticket, observing his features for a moment. Wondering what his back story is. That was one thing I did when I met people, I know, I’m weird. Everyone has a back story, weather it’s happy or sad, they have one.
Before I realized it, I was on the plane shoving my carry-on into the compartment above my seat. I slid into my seat next to the window. Perfect. I thought. Window seats were always my favorite, anywhere. Car, plane, boat, train, anywhere. I always loved to watch the scenery roll by, even if it was just fluffy clouds.
I popped in my ear phones and a piece of gum, ready to take on the world. I bet you’re wondering a number of things right now. Who is she? Why is she going to London? What is she ready for? Why is she alone? For every question, there is an answer. My name is Patience Grace Harvey. I am a brunette with green eyes. I am headed to London for my future. I have nothing left in America. No reason to stay, but some old memories. My heart aches just thinking about it. I have a seven hour flight ahead of me to get over it, and set my head strait, but for now I have every reason in the world to cry. I’m not going to though. I have to stay strong. For Lily.
Anyway, back on track. I’ve had a long life for only being 18. I’m more mature than my age, much wiser, but just like everyone else I have my moments. When I was three years old, my mom and father divorced. I have no memories of them being together, only pictures. My father left my mom the day she brought home her wedding dress. Tragic, I know. He cheated on my mother with her best friend. I guess you can say my mom had her own share of heart breaks. My dad was my everything, I was such a daddies girl. Back then, I would have given anything to have my mom and dad back together. For ten years, every birthday, every star, every wish was wasted on a lost cause. So many tears, so much heart break, so much let down. It still hurts to know my dad was never once there for me. He missed green-eggs-and-ham day at school, concerts, growing up. He missed everything. He missed my life.
By now I can feel the tears flowing down my cheeks silently. I sigh, pathetic. I can’t believe I can still cry over him, but it still hurts. The wounds are 15 years old, but still sting like yesterday. I guess some wounds never heal. I close my eyes and picture the last time I saw him. 8 years ago, with a new family. Wife, kids, the whole package. I remember feeling the hurt, knowing that he was happier with out me. Knowing that I would never be his everything. Knowing he probably never even crossed his mind. Just someone who cried over him, hell. Someone who died over him.
When I was nine, I was raped by my step dad. I never liked him, my mom said that he used to be the nicest guy. You used to shine so bright, but I watched all of it fade. I remember every sick detail. His smell, the way he breathed, everything. He was the pain that shot through my body. Still to this day. I had never felt so dirty so used. He broke me. He took my heart, smashed it to little pieces, and left. He’s the reason I can’t trust. He’s the reason I can’t be too close to people. He’s the reason I’m screwed up. I’m broken. I will never be fixed. Nobody can fix me. I have a hard time loving someone, but when I do, it’s to a limit.
I shuffle in my seat a bit, still letting the tears flow freely. God, I must look so pathetic. The only thing that kept me sane through the last couple years, was my little sister Lily. She made me smile, and told me to never give up on myself. She is four, but knows exactly what to say. I remember one time, I had broken down, falling completely apart. I had held it together so long, that I just fell to pieces. I skipped a day of school, just crying all day. Lily came in to tell me goodnight, and saw me crying. She is the type of kid that knows when your sad, even when you don’t show it. She told me that she loved me, and that I was beautiful. She told me how I was strong, and everything will get better. Then she said something that shocked me completely. She said, Everyone wants happiness, no one wants pain. But to get a rainbow, you have to put up with a little rain.
