the 1 | hope solo x reader

i know i'm not one to change

"Standing in the dark, she's dancing on the table. I'm looking through the glass, she's someone else's angel. It may sound stupid that I'm wanting you back but I'm wanting you back girl." Standing in the Dark by Lawson

Alex had been right. Mackenzie did end up cornering you. Made easier by the fact that you were in the same hotel.

You sat at the small cafe housed within the hotel, staring at her over your latte blankly. It should be obvious by now that you liked to have the upper hand. Your steps to that today consisted of a straight blank face to hide how sad being near her made you.

"You've been avoiding me."

"Correct."

Mackenzie rolled her eyes so hard, her head circled around with the residual force.

"Can you stop?"

"Can you apologize?"

The resulting jaw clench was answer enough.

"I did already. I said sorry for calling you...that. And I meant it." Mackenzie slid closer to you. You still made no move to reciprocate.

Somehow, that wasn't enough, but wasn't that all she did wrong? Or was there something else?

There wasn't anything that you wanted to admit to.

"I don't want to lose you, Y/N. I love you more than words can say. I want to mate with you. Have babies with you. Grow old with you. The whole nine yards."

You shook your head imperceptibly, you didn't deserve any of that. Not with her. None of that seemed right.

"You know that. So what's the problem?"

That was a good question.

What was the problem?

~•~

At some point she had to woman up. There was no way that Googling "what does it mean if your ex falls asleep on you" was a purely adult activity.

But what else was she supposed to do.

Interpret that herself? No, that just didn't seem right. She would never end up being correct. Every single answer she wanted it to be would be everything it couldn't be.

Her safest bet is Kelley. Not safest in terms of Kelley will give her the best opinion. Safe as in Kelley won't judge her or her situation. She never did. Also, they're already roommates. 

Honestly, Hope wondered why Kelley was still single.

Kelley sat back on her bed. Her hands behind her head, she looked like she was about to settle in for a nice romantic comedy movie instead of the romantic tragedy that was Hope's life.

"How many more times are we going to do this?"

"What do you mean?"

"How many more times are we going to talk about how you're in love with Y/N and are too chicken shit to tell her?"

"The last time I tried to tell her I walked in on, who I am now calling Maleficent, balls deep in her."

"Touché." Kelley pursed her lips together. That was a hard obstacle to get over.

"Okay. Okay...but she totally fell asleep on your shoulder. And from what I've read on forums that means she feels comfortable and safe around you!"

"Forums? Nevermind. Yeah she's comfortable around me because we're friends or something and because I'm an alpha." Hope paced in the limited space between their beds.

"...You don't want her to like you back, do you?" Kelley surmised softly.

"No! I don't! She-she shouldn't be in love with me. I'm not good for her. We tried already and it didn't work. I didn't work. I'm selfish. I'm arrogant. I'm mean. And she's not that. She's...perfect. "
Hope stopped pacing.

"Then what are we doing here, Hope? This is getting old. Either you want her or you don't. Who cares what happened  years ago?! I have a suspicion she definitely doesn't care anymore."

Hope flopped onto the bed, "How can you tell?"

"You wouldn't be this worked up if you didn't think you had a chance."

Hope doesn't speak immediately so Kelley took it upon herself to elaborate.

"You, Hope Solo, only get like this when you sense a competition you can win. If you didn't have a chance of winning, you wouldn't play the game."

"Don't want to think of her as some prize to be won."

"If you want her, you might have to. Adversity seems to be the only thing that ever turns you on anyway." Kelley shrugged.

Hope rolled her eyes, " She's not some prize."

"You're right. She's not some prize. She's your prize."

Hope eyed Kelley for a long moment, "How are you still single?!"

Kelley shrugged again, "I'm an acquired taste."

Hope nodded a bit too enthusiastically for Kelley.

"So, what are you going to do, Solo?"

"What I always do. Win."

"That's the spirit."

~•~

What did you do to be put in this situation? What president did you murder in another life? Had to be someone important. Because this shit was fucking horrible.

You pushed your face harder into your pillow until you couldn't anymore. You turned onto your side. All of your sheets were at the foot of the bed, you having kicked them off in your sleep.

You stared into the darkness, soon you couldn't tell if your eyes were open or closed. And it didn't matter.

You felt guilty. For something to do with Mackenzie. You're not exactly sure what. It was hard to figure out either way because you were still blinded by rage.

You didn't really want to break up. Not yet. Not really. There was still something to hold to. There had to be. You needed there to be.

Your options were few and quite frankly you weren't too fond of any of them.

Your side sprawl soon turned into a full starfish on the soft hotel mattress. You assumed you were staring up at the ceiling even though you couldn't see it.

You're not sure what is possessing you to hold onto Mackenzie. Safety more than likely. Cowardice probably.

Were you being unfair? Yeah. Could you bring yourself to care? Almost.

But as an omega, one of your main instincts was to stay safe, and if that meant staying with Mackenzie for the rest of your life even though you couldn't bring yourself to mate with her anytime soon, then so be it.

Even in the midst of your semi-ultimatum you've just tricked yourself into, you still can't help but think of Hope.

Specifically, when you say the word 'safe'.

There was absolutely nothing safe about Hope Solo. And yet somehow she was synonymous with the word. And that hurt?

4 years later and you still found comfort in her hard shoulder and her sly smile and her firm stance. You liked to be up under her. In more than one sense of the words.

When Mackenzie saw you off back at the Orlando airport, you insisted that Hope and you did not have unfinished business in that way.

You lied right through your teeth.

Not on purpose, you genuinely thought you didn't, but now, with tears leaving your maybe closed eyes, you know you do.

You and Hope Solo do have unfinished business in that way.

And a revelation has never hurt more.