Rarely Pure and Never Simple

Chapter 12

A/N: Hey guys, long time no see lmao. I am so sorry it took me so long to upload this chapter, but I wanted to thank y'all for over 700 reads! The last time I updated this story we were at 200! So thank you SO much! I also wanted to mention s0me0ne15 for commenting on the last chapter and asking for an update, I appreciate your love for this work! <3
And without further ado, let's get right into this chapter! :)
———————————————
Summary of this chapter:
In which food is thrown, inappropriate dinner topics are brought up, alcohol is once again consumed, and the author gets a bit carried away with the banter.
———————————————
"For the last time, Zabini, no," Harry sighed, shaking his head at the dark-skinned berk seated across from him in the Great Hall.

"Oh come on!" Blaise wheedled, shooting Harry a look that Draco was certain he thought made him look pleading and contrite, but which really only made him look constipated and moronic. It was not a good look on a person. "Come on, Potter, it will only take a second! It'll be over before you know it! I'll be so quick you won't even know it happened!"

"Yeah," Harry responded wryly, "until it hits the papers."

"At which point you'll only be reminded of how much we mean to one another," the git continued, speaking as though as he had no awareness of just how git-like he currently sounded. "Come on, Harry, don't deny our natural charisma together."

"You have nothing together," Draco snapped, finally giving in to the urge to flick the mushiest pea he could find at the annoying sod. And when that pea missed the annoying sod, Draco had no choice but to find the second mushiest pea he could find and mush it just a bit more before flicking that one at the sod, satisfied when it hit him. "Now stop assaulting him with your idiocy already."

"I am assaulting him with nothing but facts and charm," Blaise grinned, retaliating by launching a chunk of steak and kidney pie at the blond, who glowered as it struck him in the chin.

"Have you two ever gone a single meal without throwing food at each other?" Harry asked in amusement.

Blaise smirked and responded by breaking off a piece of crust from his pie and throwing it at Harry, who swatted it away with a grin. "Next time, Zabini, put a bit more effort into it."

Blaise raised one eyebrow. "Ooh, a challenge. Draco, your lover is a brave one, isn't he?"

"Don't you dare, Blaise," Draco warned, knowing that Blaise would indeed take those words as a challenge. "Stop harassing him and don't you dare cover him in anything disgusting."

"Well," Blaise sniggered, "I'm not sure if I could cover him with anything more disgusting than your spunk, so I really think I should be the one warning you not to cover him in anything disgusting."

Harry rolled his eyes even as his cheeks reddened. "Have you two ever gone a single meal without talking about spunk and bits?"

"No," they both answered simultaneously, sharing a laugh at Harry's exasperation.

"You know that you would miss our conversations terribly if you and Draco ever broke up," Blaise told him. "We are your best and most favorite form of entertainment, Potter, and don't you dare try to deny it. We're the spark in your life and you fucking know it. So deal with it."

A reluctant chuckle slipped from Harry's mouth as he shook his head. "You're something all right, Zabini."

"Something you love and cherish and adore," Blaise nodded seriously. "Does that mean that your answer is now a yes?"

"No," Harry snorted. "My answer is still an unequivocal never."

"Never is a bit of a bold word, is it not?" Blaise smiled angelically. "I'm sure that once upon a time, both you and Draco never thought that you would ever be so nauseatingly desperate to suck each other off five times a day in the bedroom I sleep in, am I correct?"