On Tour

Chapter 17 - Help

GABRIELLA

The rain spatters on the tour bus window have me in a sort of trance. I tried to sleep in my bunk bed, but my mind was too busy. I opted to sit in the tiny living room area and look outside instead of twisting and turning. Everyone was exhausted after tonight's show and little was said before they went to bed. Lexy told me how they used to stay up the whole night and kept the party going. Times have changed. I could call Daan, but it's late and he's still probably working. There was an issue with his team and problems with the stage so he left to the next venue early yesterday. 

I hear a curtain opening, but don't bother looking who did it as usually it's someone going to the bathroom. Then I feel a presence next to me and find Alec, who seems surprise to find me here.

"I thought everyone was asleep," he says.

"Sleep is evading me and so to see you as well. Almost four months on the road feels like a lifetime already. All the impressions, upcoming plans, etcetera, feel like a jumble in my head at the moment."

Alec nods and sits in front of me. "I don't think I gave you a proper thanks for bringing my family over for my birthday. Lexy's celebration made me remember that."

"You are welcome. Brendan was the life of the party. Are you sure he's only two years old? He's so beautiful, wise and charming."

"Almost two," he smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Are you okay? Something bothering you?"

"Gabriella, I'm failing at everything," he lets out a deep breath and even in the dimmed bus I can see tears running down his cheeks.

"What makes you think that?" I ask while I move next to him.

"Having a son who thinks I'm his brother to begin with, and have you read any of the tour reviews lately?"

I have and while Ozzie gets most of the praise, Alec isn't mentioned at all. "I hope you are not measuring your talent by the words of people who have likely never touched an instrument in their lives."

"It is as if I don't exist. If I'm not here tomorrow, people won't even miss me."

Alarm bells ring in my head. This situation needs an intervention and soon. "What can I do to make things better for you?"

He shakes his head and wipes his face. "I don't know."

Telling him that things will be okay when I don't have full insight on how he feels will be insulting to him, but I have to do something before it's too late.

"Do you trust me?"

Alec stares at me and I know that his answer will be crucial to the plan my mind is formulating.

"I do."

"Does anyone in the band know you feel this way?"

"I don't think so... Lexy, maybe has caught on something."

"Can we be open about this with them?"

"They'll think I'm weak or that I'm jealous."

"Alec, I don't think they will. They have been your friends for a long time and I'm sure they want you to be happy."

"Happy... It's been a while since I felt anything like that." Alec's hopeless expression breaks my heart. 

"Try to rest, even when it seems difficult. I'm here for you."

"Thank you, Gabriella," he stands up and returns to his bunk bed. 

In my bunk bed, I turn on the reading light and search for a notepad and pen in my bag to write down my thought process. Members of other bands I've managed also reached fed up moments and ended up quitting, but none of them had the kind of bond Alec has with Joel, Lexy and Ozzie.