The Borderline

♡⃛ ─Just Friends─⠀♡⃛

Jackson POV:

It's been a whole month since Rose hasn't talked to me. And I'm thinking that she still has feelings for me. My friends and some of her friends keep telling things like

"Are you sure you guys are just friends?"

"Do you like Rose more than a friend?"

And honestly to all of them I've said

"No she's just a friend and I'm not interested in anyone."

And every time I say that people would start getting mad or upset with me because they think I'm only using her and playing with her feelings. Now my only intention with her is to be her friend. Nothing else. Have I considered liking her? Yes her personality is fun but I just don't see her as anything else other than my best friend. She's like a sister to me. I care for her and protect her as my younger sister.

Usually, when we get into a fight I try my best in making things work out. However this time I can't do anything about it because the problem is not her but me.

But as it said before she needs time for herself and I don't want to get in the way of that because that's what a true friend does. But how much longer will it take?

Rose POV:

It has been so hard not seeing Jackson, I've been trying to keep my distance and not text him all the time on social media. I never knew that I was so invested in wanting to spend all my time with him that I didn't realize that there are so many things to do other than thinking to him all the time. I have started an art account that has kept me distracted and relax from this world. Even though I miss him the less I talked to him the more it was easier to lose the feelings I have for him. I've had some rough nights crying myself to sleep and staying up so late because I couldn't sleep. 

Whenever I had a problem Jackson would always be there for me, now it's so weird and different because I was getting emotionally and physically attached to him. It has not been easy but I have spent more time with my friends and getting my mind off of him. I think that Jackson understands that this is a hard transition for me however I still want to be able to communicate with him. I think that I am ready to see him and go back to being friends without me getting hurt. 

This week has been extremely busy with homework and doing school at the same time. I was doing my schedule for this week and realized that I was free this Saturday. My first thought was meeting up with Jackson at the park but it would be weird if I just randomly asked him to hang out after a month of not talking to him. I'll just stop by his house and greet him. I need to talk to him about our relationship and that I was ready to continue our relationship as friends. 

As I drove in the cold, raining streets of the familiar neighborhood I got some flashbacks of all the things I did with Jackson. The park where we snuck out of the classroom to grab an ice cream and play with the kids. And that one trail where I fell off my bike and he helped me by putting on a band-aid. I missed these places and it felt so long ago that we did these things. 

I saw some lights from the house, he must be home. I parked in his driveway and got off the car. For some reason, I was kinda nervous. Not just because I am seeing him again but of what he will say about my randomly coming to his house. Would he be upset, confused? I nervously knocked on the door and waited. I see a silhouette of a man coming towards the door. Jackson sees me and looked confused

"Rose, Oh my gosh it's you! what are you doing here" he asks

"Hi Jackson, are you busy? I have wanted to talk to you about something important" I said 

"Um yeah for sure, we can go in my room"

I saw his family look at me also very confused that I was here. As I expected it to be his room was very messy with clothes everywhere and pieces of garbage on his desks with sheets of paper crumbled beside the lampstand. 

I sit on the side of his bed while he sits across from me. 

"So what did you want to talk about?"

"Okay, so this past month has been hard for me, the reason why I became so distant was that I knew that the more I was with you I was hurting my feelings and it was not healthy for my mental health and my heart. I knew that you would understand and this and I just want to apologize for being such a terrible friend. The feelings I had for you I could not control them so whatever I had with you I was fantasizing about things that were not true."

"Rose, I understand your situation and I am glad that you were able to come and communicate it with me than just ghost me for your whole life." He laughs

"Haha, yeah that would be very stupid, thank you for understanding. I just wanted to tell you that I am ready to move on with our friends and go back to the normal" 

He leans over and gives me a warm hug. And then for some reason, I begin crying and his shoulder. I knew that what I said was true but after he hugged me I was remembering all those times that had hugged me. The time I forgot my jacket and he wrapped me in his jacket and hugged me tightly so I wouldn't catch a cold. There were so many more but I did miss seeing him. I didn't want to let him go. We have gone through so much that I would rather lose feelings or pretend to lose feelings for him than lose our friendship. Even though there was that small part of my heart that still wanted him I lost it. I knew that I could never lose feelings for him in a whole month. The feelings I've had towards him have been for years and trying to make those feelings go away was trying to lose 100 pounds in 3 days, it is impossible. But I was not going to tell him this, I had to keep this to myself. I don't want to have more confusion however this is the best way to settle our friendship. 

"Rose, why are you crying? Do you want to go home?" he asked

"No, I'm fine, I am just happy that we got to settle this and we can go back to normal, without having any sort of problems." I lied

"Ah okay, you scarred me for a second!"

he passes me a tissue and I wipe my nose with it.

Jackson's POV:

I was startled when Rose began crying, I knew that she is a sensible person and I admire her to take the courage to come here and talk about her feelings. I hated seeing her cry but she needed this, she needed to let everything out, even if it was crying. She does not make eye contact with me but instead looks at the ground with her feet dangling from the bed. 

"Thank you, Rose, for coming here and for sharing how you are feeling, I know that it takes up a lot of courage to talk about your feelings to someone else but I appreciate that. But I just want you to know that you can always talk to me, I will never judge you or leave you because you like or liked me. I'm your friend and it would be very rude of me if I did."

She looks at me with her light brown eyes, they were red and puffy from all that crying.

"Yeah okay," she whispers

Rose's POV:

After that very intense conversation, Jackson drove me back home since it was late. I was very tired from all that crying that I went straight to bed. The next day my eyes were very puffy so I placed a hot pack on my eyes so they wouldn't be so red and sore. I knew that I lied to Jackon saying that I am losing feelings for him but it was best for him to let him know that I was ready to continue being friends. The relationship I have with him is only friends and nothing more. It is like a borderline between two very different things and want to have both of them. But you can't and that's what I hate. You can't always have everything but I guess that is life. You have to move forward and continue with life. Even though you care about that person very much, you sometimes have to make some sacrifices. 

That is where I have to learn to see him as a friend, there is nothing I can do about it. Except to be grateful to have him in some sort in my life.