The Borderline

♡⃛ ─The Struggle─⠀♡⃛

After that day I got exposed, things with Jackson never really changed. Well, at least that is what I think. It's been so hard trying to weird him out every time I see him. Before I could sit beside him during lunch and have a normal conversation now I can't do that because he's going to know that I'm only doing it because I like him. I still like him and see him more as a friend but he's the only friend I have and I don't want to lose him and our friendship. Even though he said that it was not going to change that is what he thinks, he doesn't know what I actually feel for him. 

I don't know which one is worse getting rejected or still being friends with a guy that you like but you can't do anything about it because he doesn't feel the same way?

Jackson POV:

I saw Rose today at school, she has recently acting strange. It was probably that talk that we had at her house. I know that she likes me and she's probably shy or embarrassed about it. I decided not to talk to her since she might want some time to herself and to process her thoughts. 

I don't know why but for a while I knew that she liked me. When we first met she was really interested in talking to me, a lot. And since then I knew that she had a thing for me. But I didn't say anything because I didn't want to jump to conclusions. After knowing her for 3 years and the more time I spent with her the more my conclusions were right. I am her only guy friend so it makes sense that she will be confused, I want to help her but I can't do anything about it so I won't talk to her if she dosen't;t feel comfortable.

After work, I came back home exhausted. standing all day at the cashier makes your feet sore. So I decided to take a warm shower. 

I did my nightly routine and slipped into my pjs. Since I don't have time to do look at my social media in the day I do that in the night. I was scrolling though my phone when I get a notification from Rose. 

Rose: *Picture* 

Hmmm, what could she have sent me? I opened it and it was her with a kid beside her watching TV. 

Rose: "This girl does not want to go to sleep and she was supposed to go to bed 2 hrs ago. Help me!!"

Well it seems that she's comfortable in talking to me, that's good news. I should respond since I don't want her to think that I am ignoring her. 

Jackson: "Haha I have no idea"

Rose: "Wow thanks for the help"

Jackson: "Anytime haha"

Rose: "You should babysit kids more often, you have the best ideas!"

Jackson: "I know right, I'm pro at it!"

Rose: "HAHAH"

Haha, she's so funny! I think that we're all good now and she's got it all figured it out. I look at the clock and see it was getting late. 

Jackson: "I have to go to sleep now  so I can't talk"

Actually she's going to think that I am being mean to her

Jackson: "Sorry that sounded unintentionally harsh, I meant I need to sleep cause I have work tomorrow and I don't want to be tired"

There, hopefully she doesn't take it the wrong way...

*Ping*

Rose: " Oh okay, yeah I don't want to be the one that made you have a bad day for tomorrow"

Okay phew, that was close. I closed my phone and put it on my nightstand. Everything turned out great, Rose is being herself and we can be friends again.

Rose POV:

"OMG that took some guts!!!"

I had just finished putting the kid to sleep and I was in there living room, with the phone in my hand texting Jackson. I decided to text him because I wanted to see if he would act weird but he didn't. He was the same Jackon I knew. 

But even though he knows that I like him, he didn't change, which I think is good, right? The way he cautious when he texted me, he knows that I am sensitive and sometimes can be straight up with me which I don't like. But he realized what he did and apologized. I instantly got butterflies and had a huge smile glued on my face.

Omg stop it Rose, you're catching feelings again. Ugh why is it so hard!! 

I lay on the couch and look up at the ceiling. I must be going crazy for this boy cause it is making me think and act very differently. The thing is, the more I try to hid these feelings the more I start to like him. But I know that it will hurt me in the end. He's not the problem, I am. I have to change. 

~~~~

Since this has become a problem I had to tell it to my bestie. Even though she has no relationship experience or has even talked to a guy she always has the best advice to give me. I invited her over because this was a lot to explain it over text.

"Omg girl! That was a lot of information" she laughed

"Yeah I know, but I need help, I don't know what to do? He says that we're just friends and I act like we're just friends but deep down inside of me I see him more to that. But I can't do anything about it because he doesn't feel the same."

"Well I think that you have to stop feelings this way because it's going to hurt you Rose. Whether you like it or not those feelings have to go, and I'm saying this because I care about you. I don't want to see you crying and being hurt"

"Yeah I know.."

"But if you still want to like him I won't stop supporting you but you'll have to learn the consequences in the end. Imagine if he gets a girlfriend, you will be so heartbroken and even though you guys haven't dated, you have that strong emotion for him and seeing him with someone else will tear you apart. So my advice is maybe take a break from him. I know it's going to be hard but you're going to find so many guys. No they are not going to exactly like Jackson it's better than getting hurt"

I begin tearing up, this was going to be harder than I thought. She comes and gives me a hug.

"Shhh, it's okay, I'm here for you" she whispered as she pats my head.

"Why did it have to be him? out of all of the guys I've met, he had to be that one guy that cares for me and in the end it turns out that it was all in my head" I croaked

"It's not going to be easy Rose, but you'll get this though. You trust me, everything will turn out better in the end. Okay?"

*sniff* "Okay"

She passes me another tissue and I wipe my tears. I am so grateful to have her in my life. She was really like a sister to me. And she was right, maybe avoiding him will be the best for both me and him. He'll understand, and will wait for me when I am ready. I just know.