The Imperfect Whispers

CHAPTER 5: TORRID SILENCE

Arshad sat at the corner of his room trying to compose himself. What he was feeling was just too much for his heart to handle. Her smile reminded him of someone. The face he always wished he could see that moment. Well, he didn't mind the voice. The face was enough. The air-con was on yet the room was sweltering. He was completely drenched in sweat. His body was shaking. The flashbacks, everything came back. All he could think about was why it happened. He was at the point in his life where he needed her the most.

His only answer was to pray. He needed to have a conversation with his Lord but for that, he needed to take a shower first. It wasn't as if he didn't bathe in the evening. No. This case was a different one. He sluggishly took steps feeling a heavy load on his head and opened the shower. He undressed, leaving his shorts on and went in. That was his worst yet favorite place. It gave him time to think and rehabilitate.

He let the water find its way into each pore of his skin. It was cold yet he didn't mind. Everything was cold to him that moment. He hated the world. He hated everyone. His heart was beating fast and his breath was beginning to seize. He needed his inhaler but he was too weak and it was too late for him to get out of the shower as he slipped and fell hard. Slowly his eyes began to close and the sound of the shower went distant.

*****
I sit here waiting for rain to whisper like thunder in my ears
I wait for the sun to come out at night
I wait for the moon to shine at noon
I wait for the mud to turn into extinguisher
I was never like that!
Things were never supposed to be the way they are
Why?
Everything left as footsteps and faded into the dunes
Doomed sooner but never later
If only I can be a flower but God created me as a GRENADE
I destroy everything my way
Why?
I am me and I live my life not knowing where its path leads
Why?

She sighed as she closed SK and puffed some air out of her mouth. She strode to her closet and flipped her clothes in search of something she needed to take along. Her hands caressed the cold surface and she held on to it tightly as if her life depended on it.

Tears which she hated went cascading down her cheeks as happy faces smiled at her. It was their family picture. It was the last picture they took together as a happy and complete family. She remained silent as she caressed the picture which had she, Hajiya Khadijah, Adda Ruqayya and her favorite person, her first love, her dad.

She watched as all of them flashed their teeth but she admired her dad's own the most. He was really good with smiles.

She heard faint voices calling out her name and she rushed quickly to wash her messy face and zipped her backpack. She wore her grey shades on and walked out of the changing room. The bus was already waiting.

They went through thorough checking before entering the bus that was initiated for the trip. Arfah sat on the window seat while Khadijah sat beside her. Arfah was so lucky that the students offering psychology were not much. They were less than forty. She was happy she chose the course because not everyone gets to study it.

"Where is Airah? I don't see her anywhere" Arfah asked as she looked through her window hoping to see her course mate.

"She's not coming" Khadijah simply said as she pulled out her iPod from her bag.

"And... Why is she not coming?" Arfah said completely out of oblivion.

Khadijah rolled her eyes "Duh! Of course she said she's attending a wedding. Look Arfah, stop being concerned about those who are not concerned with their future. I called her several times but she didn't pick. It was after I was about to leave home she called me and told me she's not even in Kano! Can you imagine? This is part of her project for Allah's sake but she cares not. Anyway, why am I stressing myself? I'm not the one losing" Khadijah spoke in an irritated tone.