This is Home | Marauders Era

VIII. The Want to Stay

CW: mentions of child abuse

1 September, 1976, arrived faster than any could've seen. But, before they knew it, the three boys were all dragging their belongings down the stairs and into the living room where several people were waiting.

They tried to get the most unsuspecting members of the Resistance to help - the ones who were just on the verge of passing as students rather than adults. The Prewett twins, Caradoc Dearborn, Benjy Fenwick, and Kingsley Shacklebolt. Admittedly, Kingsley was the oldest looking of them all. But, he was still just young enough, and so he was there - they were trying to keep as low of a profile as they possibly could.

James was to be going with his parents and Kingsley first, taking the Knight Bus to the Platform where they would be meeting the others upon their arrival. The biggest question that was posed became whether or not they should take Regulus and Sirius together, or if they should go separately. Keeping them together might make things easier, but at the same time, it would certainly make them more likely to be noticed. So, they came up with another plan - to take them separately.

Sirius would be taking the floo network from the home to the Leaky Cauldron where he - along with the Prewett twins - would walk from there to King's Cross. Regulus would go with Caradoc and Benjy, and they would apparate straight to King's Cross when they received the Patronus from the others saying that it was clear. Regulus didn't necessarily understand why everyone didn't just apparate straight to King's Cross, but he didn't question it. Instead, he walked off to the kitchen when Sirius asked him to, and he stood.

He stared at his older brother, waiting for him to start talking. Sirius was staring back, trying to piece together his words. Finally, he gave up on the big message that he had been trying to convey and made one simple request. "Can I hug you please?"

Regulus pressed his lips into a firm line. The thought of being touched in any way other than a quick hand on the shoulder made his skin crawl, and it only made him think back to what had happened inside of Number 12. But, he had a strong suspicion that Sirius wasn't using the cover of a hug to hurt him in some way. So, he hesitantly nodded his head and took a deep breath, holding it in his lungs in the hopes that it would help him stay calm.

Sirius slowly wrapped Regulus into a hug, feeling the initial flinch and the tenseness of his muscles that failed to recede. He could also feel the lack of breathing coming from his brother, and Sirius sighed without releasing him. "Reg, you know you can breathe, right?"

Regulus still didn't. He continued to hold his breath, and he tried not to pull out of the hug that had once made him feel so safe and now simply made him feel as though he was drowning in a pool of panic and fear. It felt as though Sirius's arms were suffocating him, and he wasn't sure that he would be able to breathe even if he wanted to.

And then, Sirius released him, and he took the step back that he had been craving and let out a heavy exhale. He felt his lungs fill with air, and his lightheadedness subsided, and he looked at the worried look on Sirius's face. Sirius had just gotten Regulus back, and now he was being faced with the fear that he would never be able to properly hug his brother ever again. The thought was too much, so he decided to end the exchange.

"I'll see you at the station, ok?"

Regulus nodded his head, gaining back his composure just enough to force a small smile.

Sirius smiled back, and he sighed. He wasn't necessarily afraid that something was going to happen on the trip to the Platform, but he wanted to make sure that Regulus knew something before - just in case.

"Regulus, you're my brother. And I'm so, unbelievably happy and... and, I dunno, proud that you got out of it all - got out of the web that mother and father created. And I just want you to know that I'm gonna be here for you. Because I made a promise, and I'm gonna keep it - Reg, I'll always keep it."