The One That Got Away - Ethan Torchio Fanfic

Save As Draft

Sunday is coming with a nice gift, a new chapter.
Maybe it's not what you were expecting, but trust me, there's a process.
Enjoy!
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"Fuck."

There, in front of me and on the opposite side of the glass, a blonde woman was waving her hand at me while I was looking at her with utter shock.
"You made it hard to find you." She announced as she walked inside the bar, turning to Elle when she introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Victoria, Amélie's former Italian best friend."
A punch in my stomach would've hurt less when she said that, reminding me that not only I had broken up Ethan's heart, but also hers.
With her gaze focused on me she grabbed a chair and sat between Elle and me before turning to the waiter, ordering a beer. I wanted to ask her about him, about her life now, but I had no right to ask after what I had done.
"He doesn't know that I followed you, I only told Damiano that I was coming." She shook her head, as if she was reading my thoughts. "You were too busy looking at him to realize that I had seen you as well."
"I didn't know you guys were here, in Paris, I wouldn't have..." I stopped myself, leaning against my chair as I took a sip of my beer.
"You wouldn't have gone there if you knew, right?" She arched one eyebrow, her gaze still focussed on me while I confirmed her suspicion with a nod of my head. "Aren't you tired of running away and hiding, Amélie?"
I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath as I looked around the bar. "I can't have this conversation right now, not here." I shook my head, asking the waiter for the bill before looking back at Victoria. "You need answers, and you deserve them. So, if you want to talk, we can do it at my place."
"I have nothing to do for the rest of the day, so lead the way."

We spent the whole ride to my apartment in silence, it was Victoria the one who broke it the second we walked into my apartment.
"Is this the apartment that your mother and Carlo rented for you?" She turned to me, arching one eyebrow as she walked around the living room while I got two cool beers from the kitchen.
"No, I gave up that apartment after the first year. My mother had decorated it and didn't allow me to make it my own." I shrugged lightly, shaking my head as I sat down on the couch while Victoria checked my record collection. "I've done some work during summer, and I also work at my dad's gallery, so I can live by own."
"Are you happy?" She turned to me, holding an old Johnny Cash vinyl before putting it on the record player.
"No." I shook my head again, there was no use of lying to her.
"When was the last time you were truly happy?" She walked towards the couch, sitting on the opposite side while she reached for the beer.
"I don't know, it's been a while." I mimicked her, grabbing my beer while I lean back against the couch.
"Why, why did you do it?" That was it, the question I most dreaded, and the one without an understandable explanation. "And I'm not asking about why you broke up with Ethan, I think you were stupid for doing that, but I can understand your reasoning. Why did you break every connection with me, I thought I was your best friend there."
And she was right, she was my best friend and not only there, everytime I went back to Paris I still thought of her and kept in contact, but that changed after that last summer.
"Because I was broken." I bit the inside of my cheek, looking down at my hands. "I was the one who broke up with Ethan, but that doesn't mean that it didn't affect me, cause it did." I nodded, glancing up at Victoria with tears already forming in my eyes. "After that dinner, I spent the rest of the month locked in my room, barely leaving it to eat. So when I came back, I forced myself to bury everything and pretend that none of you were part of my life so I could start a new life."
"I'm not sure if I understand." She shook her head, pressing her lips together while she crossed her arms over her chest.
"I know that people usually move on with their lives after a breakup, but I couldn't because I still loved Ethan." I looked down at the beer I was nursing before downing the rest of it. "Staying in contact with you guys would be a constant reminder of the love I had, and the love I had broken."
"So, you cut ties with all of us and pretended we never existed in order to live your life." Victoria nodded, looking at me with disappointment. "You took the easy road."
"I know it's not an excuse, but I was only eighteen, I didn't know what to do." I grabbed a cigarette and walked towards the window, opening it slightly while I lit it up. "I've regretted it every single day since then, and I know that saying sorry will never be enough."
"No, but it's a beginning." She nodded, walking towards me and leaning against the window frame. "You cannot keep running away and pretend that we don't exist, cause we do and we were important for you."
"And what I'm supposed to do? Go to your hotel room, knock on the door and say 'Hey, remember me? I'm back to mess with your lives some more!' I cannot face him. I just can't." I looked out, the sun was slowly setting, tinting the sky with pink and purple colors.
"How about you write him a letter?" She raised her eyebrows, looking at me slightly amused. "We are staying for two more days, so that's the deadline."
"I can't make any promises, but I'll try." Nodding, I looked at her with a sad smile on my lips.
"It's getting late, so I should get going." She sighed lightly, glancing outside before turning to get her jacket from the couch as she made her way towards the front door, nodding I followed her closely. "Oh, and by the way, you still owe me a trip to Disneyland, I didn't forget about that either."

I opened a red wine bottle and sat on the couch where a few sheets of paper and a pencil were waiting for me. Sighing I placed the white sheets on my lap and looked at an old picture of Ethan, one of the very few I kept, hoping that it would bring some inspiration. It was in that moment that I realized that I had to write a letter for the Ethan I left and the one who, hopefully, would read my letter, because we both had changed somehow.

'Dear Ethan,
You probably weren't expecting this letter, you probably weren't expecting anything from me, but after seeing you today and, after a little helper suggested it, I felt it was fair to write this letter to you.
I want, and need, you to know that with this letter I just want to apologize for all the pain and heartbreak I caused you, and I don't assume you will send a reply.
Maybe you wonder, because I do, if I regret what I did, and the answer is Yes, I do. I've regretted what I said to you every single day. If I could, I would do things differently, I would have probably talked with you and figure things out before taking any drastic decision, but unless you have a time travel machine, it's too late for that.
So, it's time to own my mistakes, and also explain myself. You don't need to understand why I decided to break up with you, because sometimes I don't understand it myself, but back then I did think it was the best for the both of us.
The months before the breakup, we had been too busy, barely talked or invested any time in our relationship, and knowing what was coming for us, me with college and you with the first album and tour, I thought that we would even have less time for us, and that would lead to the end of Amélie&Ethan. So, in my mind, the most intelligent option was to not wait more and break your heart, and mine in the process.
After I broke up with you, it was as if my life had no sense anymore without you and the rest of the band in it, but I did have a life waiting for me in Paris, so the easiest and most coward option was to put everything in a box and keep it locked. And that's what I did, I pretended that nothing happened and focussed on studying and working, finding any excuse to keep myself busy so I won't think of you, also finding any excuse to not go to Rome, which I accomplished successfully.
And I'm sure you're not wondering it and you don't care, but I want you to know, I haven't been with anyone since you, because I haven't moved on.
There are million things that I'd love to tell you, but I think you deserve to learn them in person and not in this letter, just like I'd would love to apologize in person, because I'm deeply sorry for everything I did and said.
So, if you feel like listening to my apology in person, and everything I want to explain and cannot say in this letter, I'll wait for you at four pm next to the carousel at the Sacré-Coeur.
And, if you don't come, I'll understand it and will never bother you again.
P.S: No matter what happens after you receive this letter, I will always root for you and the band. And I will forever be proud of you.
Hope to see you later.
Love, Amélie'

As I reread the letter I realized how in the process of opening my heart, I had asked him to meet me, something that just a few hours before couldn't bare of thinking. I gave the now written sheets one more look before putting them in an envelope and writing Ethan's room number, that Victoria had provided before leaving my place. That was it, now I just had to wait for the new day for my letter to be delivered.

"Now, let's hope he appears."

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New bet, is he going to meet her?
Hope you like it.
Love,
A