Voiceless (TianShan)

Voiceless II

Please stay away.

Cold washed over He Tian after the red-haired guy mouthed those words to him.

He was utterly dumbfounded.

It was the first time someone told him to stay away that the meaning didn't immediately register into his brain. Like a foreign language. People wanted him to stick around and they flock in his vicinity just to have a taste of the air he breathed. He wasn't bragging, it was the truth. He knew some people would definitely welcome his undivided attention.

Did he cry because he was insulted? Were those tears his shattered ego?

But why would those voiceless words coming from someone like Mo Guan Shan affect him so much when he wasn't even part of his life? It was the worst day of his life.

He stared at the black stud again, feeling its weight as he rolled the pin on his fingers. It's such a tiny thing but it was heavy with feelings that he was sure weren't his. Maybe that's why the guy immediately got rid of it when he got the chance. Even an uninvolved person like him could feel the heart weighing it down.

"You're geting poetic for some stupid shit it's disgusting," he murmured before rolling on his bed. He didn't feel like going out and he's not sleepy but for some reason his body was sluggish.

Sometimes he wished he would wake up to a different life, where he's excited to start the day because there's something, or someone, to look forward to.

*

"Shan, are you feeling better now? Aren't you going to school?" his mother asked, poking her head through his slightly opened door.

Mo Guan Shan, seated at the edge of his bed, lifted his head and gave his mother a small smile. After days of drowning in his self-inflicted sadness, he decided to bounce back again. Partly because he didn't want his mother to worry and the other reason was that he didn't have a choice.

He's supposed to suffer because he deserved it.

He can't bear to go back to school after what he said. Being near He Tian suffocates him and he knew exactly what the remedy to that was.

But then again, reasons. He had to go and continue living the life he chose.

"Your mother's gone."

He didn't answer. His head was full of memories he can't get rid of. It's full of memories from people who weren't part of his life anymore and it's too heavy for him. It's making his head throb painfully.

Although it was tempting to lash out at this god, he just couldn't do it. What's happening now is the consequences of his decisions.

He chose to be miserable, even way before he lost everything, so how hard can it be? He's got nothing to lose anymore. The god was just there to give him what he wanted and he should realize that he was lucky someone was listening when he called.

"I didn't say 'avoid He Tian and ruin your future' so he would stay alive and well. What is the deal with you?"

"Seeing him makes me cry, okay? He'll find it weird."

"But he's alive, and I must mention, still good-looking. You took all his scars."

"And for that, you did a good job."

"So very few people appreciate my handiwork."

"Really? So why don't you scram, god? You don't have friends?"