Shane Dawson x A microwaved orange

only half of this is what you think it is gonna be

Shane had stuck a pair of scissors into an orange until its juices spilled everywhere and the hole was big enough to fit his tiny soft cock into. he shoved the poor orange into the innocent mee-cro-wah-vey.

he preferred oranges to fuck over any other fruit. pineapples were too spikey, blueberries resembles his balls too much he would get them mixed up, bananas were too gay and most importantly... the orange reminded him most of his cat, cheeto.

sometimes shane would consider fucking a real cheeto but he was afraid that the takis would get jealous, of course one day he ran out of ranch and the fat bitch had to get creative. anyway back to the story.

shane shoved his tiny cocky wocky into the warm orangy cars extended warranty and shane began to get hard for once. his boyfriend Riceland could never get him up. as shane got hard... his dick just kept growing and growing and almost exceeded the length of Honses monster cock (which is 48 inches) but it would be impossible because Honse is literally god. I am Honse btw. I am god. deal with it you fucking inferior. anyway.

as shane's dick grew a couple sizes like the grinches heart, he turned into the hulk and then exploded before he could admire his sexy ass hulk muscles (id hit that). upon his explosion he turned into approximately 52.4 kittens (don't ask) and they were all covered in liquid shit cause SOMEONE has lactose intolerance and SOMEONE can't stop eating the FUCKING ICECREAM. fucken dave... ANYWAY

the icecream DAVE loves so much is BLUE like a SMURF. ever wonder why? because it's derived from the tears- from the cum- from the saliva- uhm. some unknown gland of the smurf species, specifically papa smurf cause he's fucking DADDY

god i wish he would rail me. i'm so alone. anyone wanna put your applications in to date me? wait no you already know too much.

lmao get this. i write fucked up fanfics on the internet for people to read and then bleach their eyes afterwards with the bleach we hand out on saturdays (holy water handed out on thursdays and three years of therapy for all our followers) and some bitch in the comment section starts falling in love with me knowing that i'm a complete dumbass cause of the shit i write.

i'll blame all the worst stories on the other writer, donk, but then y'all won't give my credit for my amazing art in the many books you've hopefully read on this account. that shrek x shrek story is mine you know. it's out most famous and ITS ALL MINE. EAT MY SHIT DONK anyway

so the moral of the story is don't fuck cats, don't date me, unless you want of course. the second one, not the first one PLEASE DONT FUCK YOUR CAT!

fuck the neighbours cat instead-