Hold on to me - Leonardo dicaprio

he knows

word count:2124

Leo's POV:

I've headed to the bathroom, to help me think what the fuck I just did, I mean I just kissed her. I actually just kissed Jordan, I mean I've felt something with her for a while, ever since we've became best friends she's made me forget about all the shit that runs through my head. She makes me want to try and stop harming myself as much. I know I shouldn't rely on her but she makes me feel so much better about myself. I know we just think of each other as best friends but ever since I laid eyes on her I knew that's not all we was going to be.

After overthinking about this whole situation I just over thought, I realise it's not all that bad and she did kiss me back...and she said she liked it.

Anyways I actually did end up taking a piss!

You know I've never actually been in in Jordan's room... would it be wrong if I had a look? Nah.

I make my way out the bathroom door after washing my hands of course. I'm not dirty!

It's quite a long hall way if I'm honest and I can't just open every single door, just to find her room.

I come across a plain, wooden door with a silver handle. I'm gunna assume this is her bedroom. I open the door a little, enough for me to see the wooden floor beneath. I slowly widen the door more and step into the bedroom. I look around and from the pictures, posters, tapestry and the two large suitcases on the bed I can definitely tell it's her room. The pictures are mainly of family I haven't met yet. Well I mean, I haven't met any of her family at all except from her mom tonight.

There's pictures of her and some girls, they all have their arms around each other. I don't really recognise any of them except from one, Brooklyn. I walk further around her room and see a picture, sitting on her mirror. What the fuck! It's me and Jordan as kids. Oh... that was at Evelyn's 10th birthday party, the both of us was forced there. I remember I just didn't want to go because I wasn't really in the mood but Jordan, she just didn't really like going out much, not to parties, not to anywhere.

I would have never expected me and Jordan to get this close, ever. I mean as kids we knew each other yeah, but we wasn't exactly friends. These last couple of years I've turned into someone completely different. I always let my thoughts get the best of me. You see my close cousin jack. He passed away when I was around 12. I saw it happen, it happened right In front of me. Me and him was on our way to the basketball courts to play some ball and he was stupid enough to run out into the road while a car was going about 40 miles over the speed limit. It hit him and then just drove off as if nothing happened, they just left. As soon as he got hit he died there and then, leaving his dead corpse and puddles of blood everywhere. There was no need for any hospital but they took him anyway.

Ever since I laid my eyes on his stone cold, dead body for the last time at his funeral, I thought there was nothing left for me, my best friend was no longer here. He was never coming back, ever.

That's when things started getting fucked up in life. I started doing bad in school, I was with a different girl almost every week, I played them so much. I think the real reason for that is that they all cheat, every single one of them. Nothing good ever stays with me, absolutely nothing.

That's until I started getting to know Jordan better. It was the best decision of my life. Except she knows...she knows about my scars and that I cut. Like I said after my cousin, jack died. Depression took over me and sometimes I'd feel uncontrollably numb. Numb to the point I had to hurt myself to feel, anything, anything at all. After the first couple of times I did it, it hurt. Every time I'd bring a blade to my wrist I'd ask myself what's the point in all of this, and honestly I don't know but at the same time I felt something which was a good thing, right? I mean I wasn't numb anymore.