Tears of Africa

CHAPTER 6

"Uncle I hope you know I love you. I appreciate all you have done for me and mama. For whatever may be the cause for your hate towards me, I am sorry. Uxolo Nqobizitha. I ask for your forgiveness. If my presence here bothers you so much, I'll leave."

I looked at my mother and sister, they were crying. I could tell mother wanted to confront my uncle, but then I nodded my head to show her that all was okay.

I hugged them, looked at my uncle and then I smiled. I was sure that would be the last time I saw them. I walked to the door but before I could hold the handle someone knocked. I should have never opened it. I shouldn't have — but I never knew what would happen, no person can tell his future.

I opened the door. When I saw what was waiting on the other side, I froze and everything inside my body dried up. There he was, wearing his favourite shirt. He stood there, looking at me. He was breathing — alive. I trembled at his sight.

"Khethiwe have you no shame. Where are your manners? Mnqobi, come in. Don't mind her. Come in. My home is your home," my uncle said. I wasn't surprised at all. He didn't care if the man he was welcoming almost strangled me to death.

"Khethiwe let's go home. Come back with me. Yesterday— it was a mistake. I don't know what came over me. Please come home with me. You can't leave me. I really need you," said Mnqobi.

I was glad. The person who was apologising was my husband, the man I had married. The monster was no more, but I still feared him.

He came in and apologised to my family. I could tell my sister didn't want him there. The only person who was happy was my uncle. He even offered him umqombothi, but Mnqobi refused it.

"I understand you perfectly son in law. Women can sometimes drive you crazy, push you into a corner. It is up to us men to set things straight. What you did proved that you are not only a man but that you are a man amongst others. I did not raise Khethiwe to be like this. I taught her and she decided to do as she pleases. I raised her to be obedient. It's good you showed her who wears the pants between the two of you. Women should not confuse their place in marriages. You did well, I am proud of you," my uncle said.

That was how the women in our culture lived. They were their husbands' property. We were not allowed to do anything. I thought my marriage to Mnqobi would be different, especially when we moved to the cities.

When my uncle said that, I thought Mnqobi would say something— maybe — I don't know, I just didn't think he would keep quiet. His silence meant he agreed with what my uncle said.

I stood up and ran off, left them there. I needed to be alone, I needed to breathe. I went to the mountain, the one Mnqobi and I loved so much.

I looked down on the village and I saw doom. How is it that we lived like that? How is it that the suffering of women was a norm? What did we ever do to men? That was not life. It was just — surviving. How could we let them take our lives from us? I looked down and saw ashes. I saw thousands of captured souls, I saw women dying. We couldn't continue living like that.

While sitting there, I saw myself and Mnqobi. I saw us making promises to each other.

"I knew I'd find you here." When I turned, Mnqobi was standing next to me. "May I sit with you?" he asked. "Of course you can. It's a free world. I am not entitled to this land. Do as you please, sit down, dance, scream; but don't follow me." I wanted to leave but he held my hand. He held it so softly. I wanted my husband back. I wanted to go to our home. Only fear stood in the way.

"We once stood here, made promises to each other. I promised you love. I vowed to honour you," said he. "You promised me safety. Was that keeping me safe?" I asked. He looked at me and I could see tears in his eyes. "I really don't know what came over me. I swear I don't know."

I didn't know anymore. I didn't know what to believe. "It is because of your job. You are surrounded by violence. You can't live like this. Violence is becoming a custom to you. I told you to leave it and you refused. You have to leave the taxi industry."

Immediately when I said that, his expression changed. I could sense a little bit of disapproval or — anger. "I can't leave my job! How many times must I tell you that?" he said, a little bit infuriated. "You see, this is what I am talking about. Everything that has to do with that job is brewing anger inside of you. Look at yourself. How can I live with a person I fear?" I asked.

I turned to leave, but he grabbed my hand again. He looked into my eyes and there was remorse — there was pain and regret. "I am working there because it is the only job I have. It would take years before a village boy like me finds a job. I work there because I promised you a great life, I said you would never lack. I promised—" he said before I interrupted him. I didn't want to hear any of it.

"Mnqobi enough with your promises, enough. The only thing I ever wanted was to be happy with my husband. We don't need money to find joy. I don't want fortune. I don't want any house, or car or anything for that matter. The only thing I want is our happiness. That's the only thing I ever wanted. Your obsession to change our lives is changing you into something I don't know. Look at yourself. Where did my Mnqobi run off to? Where is my loving husband? Where is that loving man who saved me from what you are turning into. You are becoming a monster. If it's not violence it's alcohol, if it's not alcohol it's the never-ending drama with your taxi wars. What more do you want? Look around you, we have everything we need. You are becoming a hostile drunkard."

He sat there; he never moved and he never talked back, he just listened. He took everything in and admitted to his faults. We came to an agreement; he would quit his job and would go to rehabilitation and therapy. On the other hand, I would look for a job and help him. We withdrew all the silly promises we had made to each other. We replaced them all with happiness. We promised each other a happy marriage.

I was convinced he saw his faults and wanted to change. I thought all would be better so I — I returned to our home with him.