Monkey Wrench

Chapter 16

Something's going on. What the fuck is happening? This isn't good. I know that scent. Why are they here? They don't know about him. What the fuck did that bastard do to them? Where's Blair? Is she alive? Why is Dakota so close to me? They're holding my hand. What happened? Who's dead? I just squeeze on with all my energy, all my life. They can't die either, especially at the hands of my father. There's someone coming. I turn around, and it's him. I get between him and Dakota. He's not getting to them without going through me, and I know he will, but it's worth it to save Dax. He whacks me on the head with something. I don't know what it is, but I can't fight him anymore. Next thing I know, I'm on the ground slipping away. My life force diminishing.

My eyes dart open. I don't fuckin know what's happenning or where am I. What the hell just happened?!

Mom softly asks, "It happened again, didn't it?"

I don't even know what she's talking about. But, why is she saying again. Just what to everything. "Huh?" I so do not know how to respond to this.

"You were back there weren't you?"

Dakota interjects on alert, "Flashbacks?"

"Yeah. He hasn't had them since he was a kid. That could be why he doesn't remember them."

"So suppressed memories?"

"Seems that way."

"Huh?" is all I can say. I don't know what they're talking about. I don't know what I just experienced. It took me a minute to figure out where I was and how I ended up here. But, what just happened? What was that experience? This is a lot. I just want to shut it all out, but I know I can't as proof of where I am. I just nuzzle into Dakota's back.

I totally ignore everything that happens next. I don't want to think. I don't want to pay attention. I just want to crawl into a ball and sleep forever. I pick up few and far between pieces of conversations. I hear random things about psych medications and therapy. There's talk about psych evals and the sort. If I'm actually answering and responding to anyone, it's because my mouth and brain are working on autopilot. I am so fuckin drained and exhausted. At some point, I start to fall asleep.

I don't remember what I last thought about before falling asleep but it was something important.

I slowly sit up and run my hands down my face. I notice Oakley's sitting in the room with me. "What's going on Oakley?"

"Nothing. Everything is at a pause until you're ready for it."

"What am I supposed to be ready for?"

"That conversation with Sky about killing Miller."

"Shit. Yeah. That. Anyways, is there a PT eval scheduled?"

"Why is the PT eval important again?"

"Because then, I'll be able to get out of this damn bed and do some shit."

We keep casually conversing for a few minutes as doctors come in and out. Oakley leaves as they come to do the physical therapy eval. It was just like any other in-hospital PT eval.

Once that is over, Dakota begins, "How are you feeling?"

"In what way?"

"In the way that even though I was using my brain on you last night, I could still sense that there was something else going on not related to your dad and the matter at hand. I'm asking as a concerned friend."

"Friend. . . Got it."

"Hey. Look at me. That's not what I meant and you know it. I know you have a lot going on but I don't know where you want me to draw the line with using my education anymore. I really am concerned about you. All I wanted to do was console you and be with you but with how last night went, I knew it was better to give you your space. I don't know when this weird distance between us is gonna feel over, but it's painful is all I know."

"If your education makes you turn into that, leave me out of it."

"Can I give you a hug?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't mean to make you suffer."

"There's no distance between us. Even though I kinda pushed you away, I needed to wrap my head around everything."

"Okay."